Sex, Lies, and Yoga

survivor This is perhaps the most important and powerful post I have ever published in this blog.

And I didn’t write it.

I asked a friend and fellow yoga teacher to write not only about the topic of sex abuse in the modern yoga world, but also comment on how he feels the subject has been treated in the yoga blogosphere over the last year.   My friend requested anonymity and also being a trauma survivor, I honored his request.

His post may upset some and with good reason because this is a charged topic.  But the writer believes he has relayed it in a way that will not  cause more hurt to people who have already been hurt by these issues even if they don’t agree with him.

This is a long post so grab some coffee and a comfy chair, read and digest these words.  Then read it again.  And again.

Talk amongst yourselves.

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“SEX, LIES, AND YOGA”

It isn’t easy to write about the sex scandals that have plagued the yoga community in the last three years.  At least it isn’t if you or your friends have been involved in them.  But in recent discussions with a good friend on these matters, it struck me that much of the online and media discourse on the scandals serves more to create anger than to provide insight into the specific incidents and into the process and repercussions of abuse.  The language we use, the way we discuss these events is important because it is the only means to communicate what took place and how.  If done thoughtfully (and you don’t necessarily have to read this as “delicately”) then it can lead to (more) accurate accounts and meaningful discussion.  If done without regard for the power of language and an assessment of our emotional state, then discussion won’t likely be fruitful and may ultimately do more harm than good.

And so the idea of this piece was born.  Even though I have been a victim of abuse I don’t speak from a point of authority on abuse in general.  And despite being friends with some of the people involved in three of the scandals of the last three years, I can’t speak with authority on these scandals in particular.  Mine remains one point of view based on my experience and my interactions with the victims, perpetrators, and their friends and family.  But I offer a point of view that, at least as far as I’ve seen, has not been shared and is not typically shared when these things occur… a different way of seeing these problems, their players and the role of the community, whether or not it is involved in the discourse.

There is an element of vulnerability in these events that can be so overwhelming so as to make it feel deeply inappropriate to publicize the feelings, let alone the details.  You see, for most of those involved, these atrocities are not primarily about yoga, nor about the community, but rather about personal loss, failure, shame, and/or the betrayal of a friend, teacher, spouse or lover.  Their primary concern is not how to keep these things from happening again but dealing with the repercussions of the abuse and of its publicity.

They are facing spouses, families, children, friends and coworkers with details and implications of events that are tough to understand even as you are in the middle of them, perhaps especially if you are in the middle of them.  They face anxiety attacks, sleepless nights, constant tension in their relationships, stress from daily or weekly reminders of the events via online message boards, the hard work of admitting what went wrong and the even harder work of healing from it, facing consequences or making amends.

The yoga is incidental in most cases, a vehicle of opportunity rather than the cause (at least most of the time).  There are definitely elements within the context of the teacher/student relationship which create opportunities for impropriety… and things occur when opportunity meets tendency.  But this is no different than any other opportunistic vehicle.

Statistics are easier to find for some professions than others but somewhere between 2-10% of sexual misconduct rates seem to be the agreed upon statistic for primary and secondary education teachers, college professors and teaching assistants, clergy, physicians, psychiatrists, massage and physical therapists.  If these low percentages don’t really hit an emotional chord, consider that in the last 10 years, more than a quarter of U.S. school districts have reported cases of sexual abuse by teachers and coaches1.  Let me stress that this is for reported cases and, by most accounts, the majority of incidences of rape and abuse are believed to go unreported.2

No one is immune from abuse, not men, not the elderly, not the rich or the powerful.  But certain populations bear the brunt of the statistics with women in their teens, 20s and 30s showing the highest incidence of rape.  Sexual abuse and misconduct is a trickier realm than rape both in terms of definition and, as a result, legal repercussions; and for both these reasons, as well as the desire by most professions to maintain a good image, statistics on sexual abuse by profession are tough to find.  We expect that no job is safe, though certain professions seem to offer more opportunities for abuse than others.  The general trend seems clear: the likelihood of sexual abuse/misconduct increases proportionally with:

  • the level of intimacy of the relationship,
  • the duration of the sessions,
  • the length of time the relationship is sustained,
  • the amplitude of the power differential,
  • the amount of unsupervised interaction,
  • the emphasis of physical contact, and
  • the level of ease with which a victim can be effectively manipulated.

Psychiatrists and psychologists who maintain longer term, more frequent, more emotionally intimate doctor/patient relationships, and who enjoy longer sessions with their patients, see a much higher rate of sexual misconduct suits than non-psychiatric physicians, who typically see patients less frequently and who rarely devote more than a few minutes per session.  The opportunities to confuse the relationship, to act on sexual impulse, and to manipulate are much higher with psychiatrists/psychologists.  That isn’t to say that they will occur: the inclination has to be there.  But without the opportunity, the inclination will likely not be realized.

Within the yoga community we have a range of interactions and a number of elements that make us a vulnerable:

  • Power differential between teacher and student
  • A context of physical contact
  • Emotionally intimate interactions
  • Frequent (often weekly) sessions
  • Long (hour+) sessions
  • Unsupervised private sessions
  • An emphasis on the body’s ability or potential

Add to this that many classes are sexually charged either via flirtatious banter, skimpy attire, or through what is generally considered healthy discussion on the effects of practice on sex and sexuality, and the boundaries can be blurred easily and the context of the relationship shifted.

But as with other professions, the tendency has to be there.  Opportunity alone is not causal.  Left-handed Tantric practices aside (these are not standard in most yoga classes, though they have played a role in some of the high profile abuse cases of the past 20 years and seemed to feature prominently in at least two of the cases of the last two years), we do not have much that is inherent or unique in modern Westernized yoga that makes us more vulnerable to abuse than any of the professions I listed above.

We also have nothing that makes us immune to it.  Much of the West (and the U.S. in particular) entertains a culture whose values and norms make it difficult to discuss sex dysfunction and sexual abuse openly.  The deep sense of shame associated with both the perpetrator and victim mean that the latter are not likely to come forward and the former finds himself surrounded by an enabling community that is either insensitive to, under-educated about, or willing to second-guess their perception of suspicious behavior.

This culture despises complexity in ethical matters.  It’s much easier when lines drawn crisply between what is right and what is wrong, between who is innocent and who is guilty.  Blur these lines and the sense of discomfort is palpable, the discussion becomes confused and the ability to come to agreement on the motivations, on a resolution, or even on the sequence of events, more difficult.  Oftentimes, when an abuser is accused, there is a camp that comes quickly to his defense, using examples of his good public and private work as proof that he is in fact a good man as if good works and sex abuse were mutually exclusive.  Sex abuse is not something that only bad people do.

Lastly this culture still maintains high levels of inequality especially when it comes to gender, gender roles and sex.  Misogyny is standard in corporations and households.  Gender roles are frequently laid out in advertising and all manner of public media.  Market research and advertising offer some insight into our culture’s high regard youth, vitality and beauty and tends to ignore the experience of those who don’t fall into those two categories.

It is within the context of these values that sex abuse is framed and with it perceptions about who is likely to be a perpetrator (an inclination that often goes against the collected data), who is likely to be a victim, where and when the offenses are likely to occur, and the mechanics of the process.  It is also within this context that we frame the emotional implications and what we decide is the appropriate response to it.  This is not insignificant.  It plays a major role in how we discuss the problem, its players and in how effectively we can come to identify solutions.3

Hindsight on the myriad of sex abuse scandals of the last few years (including the Catholic Church, college sports, and high schools) betrays a Victorian intolerance for discussion of these matters.  More often than not anecdotes reveal how so many bystanders were willing to look the other way either out of shame, fear, confusion or self-interest, and it’s only after the offenses became especially repugnant, numerous, or public that they responded.  Once details become public, the response is generally emotional, and the call for retribution louder than that for understanding.

Problems in the yoga community have been no different.  Each time a yoga sex scandal erupts, it is typically only after the offenses have been going on for months, in most cases years.  There are multiple victims, there were others who knew or suspected what was going on, perhaps some even helped or took part in the offenses.

The community fractures into two or three major camps: those incensed by the wrongdoing and who want some kind of rectification or compensation for the victims, those who question the reliability of the accusations, and those who withdraw.  The latter is the group most often populated with victims, perpetrators and the close friends of each.  This isn’t because of cowardice but because it is to this specific group that the events are most personal and it can be devastating to see personal details of your life, especially of moments that you are ashamed of, deeply affected by, or which you consider especially personal, play out in the public sphere amidst typically scornful, often inaccurate commentary from what feels like anyone who can muster an opinion.  So the high profile rhetoric rarely comes from the people most involved in the issue.  The typical script vilifies the accused perpetrator, victimizes the abused and simplifies the situation down to a structure that makes sense to the average person, that fits into preconceived notions of these incidents and which allows even people with few facts to have an opinion and even a plan of action.

It is uncomfortable in the face of such atrocities to do nothing in these circumstances.  It feels not simply inappropriate but unjust to do nothing.  But most of us who practice Yoga can appreciate that nothing is the space that we aim to linger in during our practice.  And this is with good reason: it is a space created precisely so that whatever intuition, ideas or emotions come, they are not an immediate, habitual response.  Clarity is not achieved by jumping to conclusions and it rarely comes from preconceived notions.  This space can become a double-edged sword for those who have suffered abuse or experienced sexual impropriety in the context of a yoga teacher/student relationship, since practice itself may be directly associated with the perpetrator and the actions.  But this association is specific to the victims and it isn’t out of place to suggest that practice and the thoughtfulness we try to achieve during it is precisely what is necessary when dealing with these kinds of difficult, sometimes ambiguous, often complex situations.

While working at a GLBT Community Center I was faced with this complexity when a very sexually aggressive 13 year old began to frequent the center propositioning our male volunteers for sex.  The level of aggression was flabbergasting.  He would find his opportunity by waiting for the volunteer to be alone and then use sexually charged conversation, emotional connection, seductive physicality and even threats to manipulate the volunteer.

We were faced with an uncomfortable situation.  Clearly this was a child.  Had he succeeded in seducing any of these men and the two been discovered, it would have been clear to everyone that the adult had committed the wrong-doing.  And yet the adult was not the aggressor.  The adult was not following the typical script we expect: finding opportunities to be alone with the child, offering them something desirable, hooking them with charged conversation or the use of threats.  The scripts were reversed.

We learned in discussions with authorities who were familiar with this kid that he’d been found coercing other boys his age to perform sexual acts in school, behind library stacks, and in fairgrounds.  He was clearly a danger to our male volunteers and visitors… and they to him.

Eventually he moved on from our center.4  But the relief of his absence left us with difficult questions: Was this child a victim, a perpetrator, or both?  Most of us assumed he had to have been abused at some time in his youth; but was that our expectations playing out or reasonable deduction?  Was he playing out a script that had been used on him or was it coming from another source inside him?  In a practical manner, did it make a difference on how we should respond?

Victims tend to be painted as afflicted if they acquiesce, overpowered if they fight and fail, brave if they fight and overwhelm their attacker, and impressionable if they never seem to question the wrong-doing is wrong at all.  There is rarely discussion around what actually makes abuse what it is, its characteristics and requirements.  It’s unnerving to ponder the question of whether or not it is abuse if a victim enjoys the act (you can read here that their bodies respond to the physical stimulus or that their minds respond to the situation with arousal), even part of it… especially so if they partially instigated it or maintained the relationship willingly.

In the same way the typical script around perpetrators paints them as either innately perverse if they have no history of abuse or mental illness, or affected by their own abuse or mental illness and driven by an unseen and uncontrollable urge established there and left untreated for years.  It’s rarely considered that their actions may be increasingly frequent missteps in judgment that create a habit, that they may be people fighting an inclination that they know to be wrong but which brings them immense satisfaction even as it creates increased guilt, or that they are people with genuine feelings for what we come to know as their victims and who let these feelings and their own issues of self-worth guide their actions at the expense of others.  Perpetrators are not always calculated and sometimes don’t realize the morality of what they are doing.  Often they may not perceive a power differential at all.  Sometimes the feelings that fuel these ethically and morally suspect actions are genuine.

The familiar script ignores all this and tries to make the victims pure and the perpetrators either evil or victims in their own right, depending on whether or not there’s an explanation for their actions that arouses pity.  It does this to make it easier to understand, to limit the problem, the people, the repercussions and the solution.  And because it’s easier than the reality, the tendency is for anyone with little information to prefer to listen to this script than to the people involved.  The script is so familiar that when it is used in public media it rings immediately and unquestionably true to the audience, which fuels it further until it’s the only story being told.  This happens in the absence of reliable sources and objective reasoning.

A few months back a popular yoga blogger posted a detailed analysis of an accused abuser, a well known and long respected yoga teacher.  It was detailed to the point of describing the abuser’s inclinations and needs and his relationships to others, including his victims and his family.  It aimed to paint a picture of pervasive dysfunction.  The blogger based his assessment on some available accounts of the events (namely clips from old and new letters of complaint about related wrong-doing by this teacher, articles stating the reported charges, and press releases from the two organizations this teacher belonged to).  I posted a comment to his blog entry asking him if he had met or spoken with either the perpetrator or any of his victims.  The next day he replied “no.”

I knew the people he was talking about and I knew that the blogger’s assessment said more about the blogger than about the incident, the perpetrator or the victims.  I still remember my friend crying on the phone, telling me that something was terribly wrong.  “I’m in such a dark place,” he said, without going into details.  I later learned of his offenses.  They were numerous.  They were heinous.  And they had reportedly been going on for many years.  I could hardly understand how these actions fit in the same physical space as this person I respected and loved.  Moreover my friend had been involved with women I knew, with women he’d met at the same events I’d attended, and that much of this had been going on at those same events, right under my nose, and I’d never seen the clues in anyone’s behavior: not his, not his victims’.  I soon learned that others I knew and respected in the community had suspected or known of this behavior for years and had either ignored it or attempted to intervene in ways that optimized privacy (and minimized publicity).  The latter is not meant to suggest nefarious intent as I can’t say exactly why they made those choices at the time.

For weeks I couldn’t go a day without a phone call or email from someone asking what was going on, if the rumors were true, or to relay their own involvement in the matter.  It was painful and confusing and the time between interactions was filled only with dread about what details the next message might bring.  But I forced myself to listen and to continue as awful as it felt, because I refused to continue to be in a space that allowed me to be oblivious to these incidents.  A space that, I felt, I had revisited too many times.

It is never easy or simple to discuss abuse, especially with an abuser or a victim.  It was still awkward to talk about this but given the circumstances, given how obviously critical it was to have these discussions, I finally was bold enough to ask questions that were uncomfortable, personal and which, under any other scenario, would have been deemed inappropriate or not my place to ask.

I learned that some of my female friends had been propositioned for sex and they’d turned him down and, at least according to their accounts, the discussion had ended there and their friendship continued as if nothing had ever been mentioned.  Some had been coerced into a relationship.  And some remembered the details differently with each conversation, the earliest of which portrayed more guilt and less anger.  The later conversations were harder.  It was not lost on me that there were at least two potential processes at work here: (1) the revelation of memory that comes only after analyzing events again and again and (2) the creation of a story that makes sense of how things could have happened.  It was not clear which was dominant at any given point.  And so listening became an exercise in sitting with ambiguity.

So if I, who had been a bystander watching these events and talking to the perpetrator and his victims, still hadn’t come to a conclusion of how things had occurred or what had motivated them, how could this blogger who had never met either, let alone spoken to them?

The entry added absolutely nothing enlightened, gave no insight into how these things can occur let alone how they did occur, and offered no value in how to prevent them in the future.  All it did was create a script that was convenient, which aimed to look analytical, but which was ultimately inaccurate to the situation and to the topic of abuse in general.  What was most interesting and disturbing to me was that someone with no direct resources would think that the story they can create in their mind is worth publishing as authoritative.

The blogger and the majority of comments mostly offered speculation on how these issues could have gone on for so long, who must have known, who was ultimately responsible, and inherent issues with yoga today that lead to these problems.  For the latter, the discourse was mostly limited to three culprits:

  1. The guru-disciple relationship or guru culture,
  2. The lack of accountability within our community, and
  3. The lack of legal follow-through.

Although there are understandable reasons for the conversation focusing on these elements (namely distrust of authority and frustration at the injustice), I believe that it betrayed a lack of knowledge of the incidents in particular and of abuse in general.

1.   The guru-disciple relationship has been a target for many years now and both recent and distant accounts of abuses in this relationship have rightfully contributed to skepticism of its value by those who have never been a part of it and by those who have been directly and indirectly involved in instances of abuse.  Its self-imposed and pronounced power differential sets off alarms for many, especially those who have grown up with an independently-minded spirituality.  The associated cult mentality has also added to suspicions.  The dominant attitude among detractors is that gurus are nothing more than men with inflated egos looking to take advantage of others sexually and financially, that they always do more harm than good, or that the level of good they can do is never worth the risk of harm.  However, there were two major problems with attaching this discussion to this incident:

a.   Few in this conversation seemed to grasp that the teacher they were discussing was not a guru of any sort, that he in fact refused to use that term, and that his students would never call themselves disciples.  None of the victims’ accounts suggested they enjoyed a traditional guru-disciple relationship in character, let alone name.  There were some accounts of a cult-like atmosphere within the closest circle of students/teachers, which some have confused with guru-disciple relationship or guru worship.  Some of the women who had brought forth charges were not students at all, though, but therapy patients.  Others were fellow teachers.  If anything, based on the published accounts, the culture of this teacher’s organization could be accused of having an established hierarchy and intolerance for dissenting opinions or the questioning of authority.  From a Western point of view, it could be called a cult of personality.  The conversation, however, mixed this instance (and by default its cause and cure) with that of the high-profile abusive gurus of the last 30 years but ignored instances of abuse by doctors and therapists, which would have been equally if not more relevant to the situation.

b.   By virtue of the latter, there were explicit and implicit assumptions that eliminating this guru-disciple relationship would eliminate or greatly reduce the incidence of abuse.  It would not.  Abuse permeates professions, religions, and households where there are no gurus and no disciples.  The power differential (and some of the other vehicles I mentioned earlier) creates the opportunity, not what we call it.5  If the goal is to genuinely address the power differential, then discussion would include the culture of celebrity within yoga, the status of “senior teacher,” and  common practice of teachers hiring their own students to work at studios or assist them.  Each of these establishes the teacher as someone to be admired, respected, and obeyed.  Whereas with gurus, the draw for the student would be spiritual development, in the previously listed cases, the draw may be popularity, attention or financial gain, each of which can be (actually has been) exploited by a teacher.  But conversation never ventured to these topics, suggesting (to me) that blaming the guru-disciple relationship may have more to do with distrust of authority (especially in this very foreign form) and less to do with a real understanding of its contribution to opportunities for abuse.

2.   From the discussion on the lack of accountability within the community it was clear that what people were incensed about was the fact that more people weren’t talking about this, that it was either so typical or unimportant to others that it didn’t warrant discussion.  But this is response is not rare.  For those who are friends or family, even coworkers of perpetrators, the response is not simple or immediate, nor is it predictable.  It depends on the personality, on their own history of abuse, of their own involvement in this particular instance of abuse, and most important, on the strength of the bond they shared with the perpetrator.  For many people, when a friend commits a crime or injustice, it isn’t immediately justified to end the friendship.  This has nothing to do with supporting the crime or in believing that it did not occur.  You can love someone who does bad things.  And that love can be stronger than the angry calls from the crowd.

Friendship and love are often talked about as if they are unconditional.  Indeed they are deemed less than perfect, less than true, if they come with conditions attached.  What if the conditions look like this?  It is unrealistic, I think, to expect total and perfect decency in all aspects of life from someone.  But different people have different tolerance levels for the indecency of others and the disappointment it brings.  Where some consider it a failure of character if you let disappointment taint that love, others consider it a failure of character if you hold onto a relationship with someone who is responsible for so much harm.  How do you offer true friendship and still have compassion for those your friend affected?  How do you simultaneously have compassion for perpetrator and victim when you have strong family or friendship bonds with both?  This isn’t an easy conflict to resolve, and people resolve it in different ways and on their own time.

For those who didn’t share that bond with the yoga teacher, it’s also not clear that the immediate response would be outrage.  People go through stages of denial, indifference and numbness, none of which have any expression of anger.  It is precisely how most Western societies respond to rape and sex abuse.  We live in a country where one in every four college age women is a survivor of rape.7  Statistics for women in general vary but they typically suggest 17-25% of women are rape (and attempted rape) survivors.  This is an astounding number.  And yet there is no general outrage and the statistics remain unreasonably high.8  How is it that most people aren’t outraged?  Statistics suggest it’s out of habit.

3.   Lastly, and most telling of our culture, is the anger at the lack of legal follow-through.  The most uncomfortable and problematic part of this is the difficulty in differentiating illegal behavior from immoral behavior.9  The sexual abuse that has taken place over the last few years in the yoga community is not easy to wrap your head around.  The group of people that we have come to see as victims did not all experience the same things to the same degree, and the level of intimate involvement prior to the abuse varied.  Some women were sexually involved with their abuser for months or years and enjoyed attention and gifts.  Some of these women were married.  Many continued their relationship with the abuser even after the first incident they considered objectionable.  Some of the victims were therapy patients who were manipulated into believing that the treatments, which came in the form of sexual practices, would cure them of serious ailments.  Some women were seduced with money, gifts, or power within the community.  Of these, some were threatened with being cut off from their spiritual community when they tried to leave the relationship.  Some women were taught powerful, esoteric practices, which enjoy little expertise in the U.S. but lots of notoriety; they feared losing their access to these if they left.  Some enjoyed what it felt like to do something taboo.  Some felt guilt long before the scandal broke.  Some felt guilt only after.  Some women were propositioned for sex and turned the perpetrator down in what was described as an uncomfortable but amicable scene; and their friendship continued unaffected.  But some women were raped forcibly.  Some seduced.  Some deceived.  Some women escaped the abuse at great cost, including the loss of their jobs and their social circle.  Of these, most tried to forget the situation and never attempted to publicize their experience until the scandal broke.  For many of those, it was the only way to protect themselves emotionally.  Still some attempted to address the problem head on and found little or no support from their employer and colleagues.  Some considered going to the press.  Some did.  Most did not because to publicize the incident would bring to light details that would destroy their families.  Others managed to establish boundaries with the abuser and maintained their job and friends.  Of these some continued to introduce their young, unknowing female friends and students to the abuser despite their own experience; they never offered them advice or warning.  Some were in love with the abuser and felt used after learning his relationship to them was not unique.

There is no protocol in our legal system to deal with these complexities.  The tendency is to take some of the situations above and relegate them to “true victim” and others to “regretful accomplices.”  Some of this comes from misogyny.  Some of it comes from its uncomfortable complexity.  Some comes from simple ignorance.  We are not all the same.  Our samskaras affect us in different ways according to our qualities.  And so the manifestation of these situations will naturally look different.  It is not inappropriate to call each of these women victims, I think, but it is inappropriate to assume that the term “victim” always means the same thing.

I have chosen not to use names in this entry.  Not the victims, not the perpetrators, and not my own.  I put a lot of thought to this and realized that what I needed to say has to do with a process that has been going on for so many years it is beyond names.  Parts of it should be public and parts of it, I think, we would do well to keep private or at least leave in the hands of victims to address and reveal in their own time.  Moreover, some of the people I have referred to in this piece are good friends, people I love and respect and I am certain that those that I do not know directly, whose stories have come to me via friends and fellow teachers, are loved and respected by someone.  This does not mean that I support what has happened. It also does not mean that I hope this goes away.   Having been a victim of abuse before and having my own friends victimized in these events, this is a topic that is more personal than I can put into words.

What I do believe is that before adding to the chatter and the vitriol, it is well worth it to delve deeper into these situations both via the body of knowledge that has been collected over the years of victim testimonials and well-researched documentaries on the topic, and through discussions with people who are involved.  It isn’t wrong that the mind’s response at these events is often to well up with rage at the unfairness and the suffering of others.  But it is critical that these feelings be contained if they are mostly based on a story those same minds have created to deal with the information, rather than on knowledge and analysis of the actual events.  If we don’t, whatever our actions, whatever our words, the response is ultimately more about how we feel than about the well-being of others.  Rage is never advocacy; and ignorance, however understandable, never leads to a solution.

Footnotes

1  According to the American Association of University Women.

2 These statistics would be suspect if they weren’t so consistent.  They tend to be largely based on surveys conducted in representative local populations and the numbers are assumed to be adequate estimates for national populations (which may not be the case).  Based on these surveys, the minimum rates for unreported cases of rape and abuse tend to be around 52% with estimates increasing to 75% in some populations.

3Pedophilia offers us a good analogy.  The majority of pedophiles are men.  This likely comes as little surprise to most.  It is generally understood that pedophiles who molest little girls are straight and pedophiles who molest little boys are gay.  It was this faulty reasoning that led to the Roman Catholic Church equating their pedophile priest issue with a gay priest issue.  The problem is that pedophilia doesn’t function within the same parameters by which we understand sexual orientation.  Pedophiles who are straight identified (meaning they have no expressed or repressed attraction to men) may still prey on young boys.  As a result of this misperception, it’s likely that the Catholic Church’s attempted purge of gay priests won’t affect the existing rates of abuse since there is no higher predisposition there.  They enacted a solution that does not fit the problem but rather their idea of the problem.

4 We changed our volunteer hours twice, swapping male and female volunteers to throw him off and it was clear from the terribly disappointed look on his face as relayed by our lesbian volunteers that he was not happy with this.

5 The extreme case of guru worship can be likened to military culture, where the strict hierarchy forbids subordinates from questioning superiors and where there is a unique and fully segregated culture from the mainstream that makes communication to an external population (and the latter’s subsequent understanding) difficult, if not impossible.  The military, of course, has what we now understand to be a long history of abuse and cover-up of abuse.  The latter is, in my opinion, the piece that makes guru cults susceptible to long term abuse.  It isn’t that the abuse is more likely to happen (read here in terms of number of likely perpetrators) but rather that there is a vehicle for the abuse to be covered up and to continue to occur by the same perpetrator.

6 In my teens, a close friend of my family’s was discovered to be a serial killer who had been murdering prostitutes for the better part of a year.  In that year he’d visited our home and offered the same warmth and humor he had always offered.  When he learned that I had gone to art school he gave my father an expensive drafting table so that I could use it.  He was kind, concerned, and his kindness and concern as it related to us never came with conditions.  My mother was asked once if she was regretful about having had him as a guest in the house, especially near her kids.  Her response relayed perfectly the point of view that people are complex and multi-dimensional, and that relationships, in turn, must be as well.  She said “Not at all.  He was our friend.”

7 From “Assessing Sexual Aggression: Addressing the Gap Between Rape Victimization and Perpetration Prevalance Rates” by Elizabeth Kolivas and Alan Gross

8 Most surveys show a drop in the incidence of rape in the last 10 years within the U.S.  Statistics on the magnitude of this drop vary.

9 I specifically avoid the use of the term “unethical” here because it can suggest different things depending on the profession.  I use “immoral” to try to relay the idea that the infraction would be considered by most people, regardless of profession, to be irresponsible, inconsiderate, or generally lacking in morality.

tit for tat

scale

“tit for tat” — an equivalent given in return….

Yeah, some spam emails just cry out for an answer.

In the 8 years I’ve been writing this blog I’ve had numerous requests to shill spread the word for yoga books, yoga clothes, yoga retreats, yoga workshops, yoga teacher trainings, ad infinitum. People get my email address and have no hesitation whatsoever about asking me to advertise — for free — their yoga product or yoga whatever.  Or, they sign me up for their E newsletter, unbeknownst to me, of course, until I get one.

The thing is, I would never think to ask anyone I did not know to publicize my retreats or workshops.  Ever.   But that’s me.  Apparently the new way of doing your yoga business is by saying “HEY, I LOVE YOUR  BLOG, SO CAN YOU…..”

The dead giveaway that I knew the email was bullshit was that the spammer said that they “know” I dig Iyengar yoga from my blog.  I have never written about Iyengar or  his yoga.  Disingenuous.  Gotcha.

I have no problem helping someone out.   Buddhist yoga teacher, Michael Stone, sent me his books (or at least his people did) when they asked me to publicize blurbs from his books in this blog.  A few other yoga authors also sent books when I reviewed them here.

So after all these years of being asked to shill spread the word about someone else’s stuff (a book about yoga retreats in India), I blew.  But when I answered one spammer like this:

 “I would be happy to write about and promote your book after receiving payment for my writing.  I suggest a minimum payment of $2,500.00 to promote your book.  Since I have been writing my blog since 2005 and have a strong and loyal following of hundreds of global yoga practitioners, I think $2,500.00 is a small price to pay for my being your “agent”, so to speak, to publicize your new book.  Should you wish to discuss payment, please feel free to contact me at this email address.”

Apparently the snark was too much for some sensitive types because someone wrote on this blog’s Facebook page, “Unfolding you.  Want to hear about yoga, not profits…that particular line of sarcasm just isn’t part of my journey right now.  Namaste.”

Oh, well.  Ya can’t please everyone.  As a former boss (attorney) used to tell me, “fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.”

Namaste.

So for those who want me to write about your yoga product — PAY ME.   I won’t write for free, in fact, from what I hear, free-lance writers are very pissed off about the lack of or extremely low pay for writing.

Even though on paper this year it looks like I broke even (finally) on my business after 10 years, I actually have LESS money in my bank account because my tax refund was less because I made more money last year.  A Catch-22. 

So I need the rupees, the dough, the moolah, the dinero.

Or send me the cool clothes that you ask me to write about because the other day I pulled on some yoga pants that I bought in 2002.

A few years ago one yoga product company contacted me about shilling spreading the word about their product.  I said I would if they would send their products for the women I taught at the domestic violence shelter.  Never heard from them.  And never received any yoga products.

And those workshops and retreats and trainings you want me to advertise for you?  Only if you advertise my yoga retreat for next year.  In fact, my retreat from this year is how I made money to break even, NOT from teaching.

As the New Age Yoga Hipsters like to say, it’s all just an exchange of energy, keeping things balanced in the Universe, ya know what I mean?

Divine Tit for Divine Tat.

C’mon.  Movie stars at the awards shows get swag bags just for showing up.

the bottom line

I returned from India last week dazed and depressed and feeling like I had been deposited onto a different planet.  The fact that the temperature in Chicago was literally 60 degrees colder than what I had experienced for almost three months in South India did not help either.  But here I am for better or for worse.

My trip was a mixed bag of love and hate, positive and negative, joy and sadness, and bittersweetness.   Like life.   The group trip to the Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram and yoga retreat in Varkala was a life training, that’s for sure.  Let’s just say: I learned a lot about egos with a capital E and how to deal with them.

The majority of the time it was wonderful (how could it not be when I am in my soul’s home?) and most of the first timers to India were very happy, falling in love with Ma India as I did 8 years ago.  However, for my next retreat — YES, I AM CRAZY ENOUGH TO PLAN TWO YOGA RETREATS FOR 2014! — there will be ground rules in place like, “accept what is offered to you” and “this isn’t about you, it’s about the GROUP.”  Behavior that I deem inappropriate and not conducive to harmonious group dynamics will not be tolerated and people will be asked to leave, no refunds.   Just sayin’.

Amanda the Yogachicky has been writing fabulous posts about the group trip and her first time in India.  We’ve been online friends for a long time and we finally met in Chennai which she chronicled here. You can read about our week at the Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram here.

Leaving India gets harder and harder for me each time.  My friends there don’t want me to leave and tell me they love me.   One friend hooked me up with a lawyer whom I spoke to about starting a business in India.  No matter where I am whether it’s a big city like Chennai or a bigger city like Mumbai (that I experienced for the first time and had a wonderful time thanks to another online friend — read Sharell’s story on the amazing slum tour we took) or walking the beach in Varkala, a feeling that suddenly makes me weep passes through me like an electric wave.  It is tangible and visceral, that  feeling of being totally in the flow, how what I am doing in that moment feels so natural and perfect and right, much more so than when I am back living where I live.  The feeling of being dropped onto a different planet never hits me when I land in India only upon my return.

One of the participants sent me this quote from Somerset Maugham’s The Moon and Sixpence  (you can change the pronoun and gender):

I have an idea that some men are born out of their due place.  Accident has cast them amid strangers in their birthplace, and the leafy lanes they have know from childhood or the populous streets in which they have played, remain but a place of passage.  They may spend their whole lives aliens among their kindred and remain aloof among the only scenes they have ever known.

Perhaps it is this sense of strangeness that sends men far and wide in the search for something permanent, to which they may attach themselves.  Perhaps some deep-rooted atavism urges the wanderer back to lands which his ancestors left in the dim beginnings of history.  Sometimes a man hits upon a place to which he mysteriously feels he belongs.  Here is the home he sought, and he will settle amid scenes that he has never seen before, among men he has never known, as though they were familiar to him from his birth.  Here at last he finds rest.”

I started teaching in Varkala.  My style of yoga is eclectic and I taught so that people gradually got into Erich Schiffmann’s Freedom Style yoga as I interpret it.  I know I took two people out of their comfort zone with it and with yin yoga.  The bottom line:  I don’t know what the hell type of yoga I teach.  I put no name to it other than “mindful.” I don’t know how to market my style to draw people and we all know that yoga nowadays is all about the marketing.  I guess my students here who’ve been with me since almost Day 1 of my teaching can answer my question because I sure as hell can’t.  I don’t want to be put inside a yoga box because as a friend told me this morning, I was put on earth to shake things up.  So if you dig what I teach, cool; if not, oh well.

In spite of having some less than stellar moments during the group trip, I love showing people my India (not your India, not his India, not her India, but my India.)  A friend tells me that he thinks I am meant to be a Westerner’s guide to India (this friend has agreed to co-teach the next two week retreat in Varkala so stay tuned for those details!)  The prospect of starting a business in India makes ideas swirl in my brain, one of which is running a guesthouse where I can offer yoga classes and energy healing.  We shall see.  Goddess willing.

This is what one person in the group had to say:

“If Lady Luck or good fortune or the grace of god showers you with her serene and beguiling smile a time or two, you may pause in appreciation and recognition that being alive can be, well, pretty darn good. And when that invisible hand so softly and gently guides you to a place beyond which you have only allowed yourself to imagine, you may pinch yourself again and again to be sure you’re not dreaming.

It wasn’t a dream. It was, in fact, two plus weeks of the most in-your-face, raw, sensual, noisy, chaotic, exhilarating, life affirming, life changing, drama-producing, tranquility-inducing living that you might ever ask for. Oh, and loving and lovely, too. It was my first visit to India. All put together by Linda Karl, our guide, interpreter, arranger, teacher and very passionate Indiaphile.

What started with very pedestrian concerns about jet lag and more heartfelt concerns about being half a world away from my family, was immediately seized by Mother India and transformed into an experience that was so far beyond my expectations that I’ll spend the rest of my life sorting it out.

Yes, this was a yoga study trip that included a week with some of the most accomplished teachers you could hope for at the Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandarim in Chennai. We practiced asana and pranayama, learned about Patanjali’s Sutras and the Bhagavad Gita, meditated and, for some of us, used our pitch-challenged voices to bring sound to Vedic chanting. Every day was full and complete and that doesn’t include the walk to KYM on streets filled with noises, smells, sights and sounds that invaded every sensory pore, every moment, unfiltered. It was double Red Bull India.

The second week at Varkala Beach was India light – every bit as real but allowing you to catch your breath. A tropical forest of coconut palms, banana and jack fruit trees and other forms of greenery not found in more familiar climes were set high on a cliff overlooking the Arabian Sea with small shops selling everything Indian and restaurants with the freshest catches of the day and cold Kingfishers to wash it all down. Here each day started with two hours of Linda’s interpretation of Freedom style yoga. The remainder of most days was unplanned and thus afforded time to ease into conversations with the other seven members of our group. For me, this is when the rose came into full bloom. The combination of intense yoga study and practice in a country that gave no quarter to a first time Westerner left me exposed. And into this opening walked seven people who shared some of their most intimate joys and hurts. That’s when I knew this was and will forever be an experience of a lifetime.

Since returning home I have savored innumerable moments and tossed and turned many thoughts. For anyone so inclined, ever how slightly, to consider making his or her own visit to India, allow Linda be your guide. Timshel.”

It’s the most beautiful thing a student can say about the experience a teacher offers them.

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Mumbai sunset

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a car like me: outside the box

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the money shot: in Mumbai market

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in the Freedom Style flow with Alicia Keys music

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where my heart is: Varkala

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Mumbai plate seller

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up close and personal with Ganesha

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in the ladies’ car, Mumbai

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Ganesh Mohan with his father, A.G. Mohan: yoga therapy training, Chennai

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rockin’ out to Freedom Style

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there’s something happening here

Getting ready for a trip to India always gets my energetic body all jacked up.   I’m buzzing and it feels like when I used to take speed back in the day (hey, I was a hippie, OK?)  Now it’s a natural high.

I leave on Sunday for my 7th trip, beginning with continuing my yoga therapy training with Ganesh Mohan, traveling for the first time to Varanasi and Sarnath, then leading my group of 7 intrepid first-time India travelers and global yogis for private classes at the Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram, then my yoga retreat in Varkala, Kerala.  When they go home I’m off to Goa and Mumbai, each for the first time.

To say that this trip is different is an understatement.  I was more involved with learning different energy healing modalities last year (which by their very nature cranks up your energy body) and this week I received some energy work, so to say that I’ve shifted is also an understatement.  My gut is screaming at me that something is happening.  Can’t put my finger on it but in the words of Sly Stone, there’s a riot goin’ on.

The latest is that Kausthub Desikachar has broken his silence.  Coincidentally I received an email today from “Sannidhi of Krishnamacharya Yoga.”  It came to my old email address that KYM has.  The website is sky-yoga.net but when I searched for that site, nothing came up.  There is no name attached to the email, it came from “courses@sky-yoga.net.”

After explaining the Krishnamacharya tradition, it goes on:

The Sannidhi of Krishnamacharya Yoga (SKY) is founded by TKV Desikachar and Menaka Desikachar.  It will be the medium through which the whole range of the teachings of T Krishnamacharya will be extended into the current century in a traditional manner, yet relevant to the modern era.

The objectives of Sannidhi of Krishnamcharya Yoga (SKY) include

  • Increasing awareness of Yoga and its many applications especially in the domains of Health, Healing and Spiritual Transformation.
  • Promoting and sharing Yoga as a complimentary therapeutic approach both in one to one settings, as well as in specialized focused groups.
  • Offering Training programs of the highest standards in Yoga and Yoga therapy.
  • Collaborating with other modalities of healing to facilitate integrative paradigms in healing.
  • Creating and sharing educational resources that support the understanding and study of Yoga.
  • Supporting the network of Yoga teachers and therapist through continuing education. Initiating Research studies to evaluate the role of Yoga in contemporary health care.

…A choice of exciting programs are being conceptualised SKY for the year 2013. These will be conducted by experienced and senior faculty trained in the tradition of Krishnamacharya. Details of these will be made available soon.

Interesting.  Someone subscribed me to this E newsletter since they have my old email address.  The email listed their courses for 2013.   Their address is 6 (Old# 5) Stone Link Avenue in R A Puram, near the neighborhood that KYM is in.   The Krishnamacharya Healing & Yoga Foundation (KHYF) that Kausthub headed and was subsequently dismissed from (rumors are that he still pulls the strings behind the scenes) is in the near area.

Call me suspicious but I doubt very much that Sri Desikachar and his wife would start a new yoga school, not given their ages and Sri Desikachar’s condition.   But did Kausthub start a new school a la John Friend?  Did he name his parents as founders of this new school as they were named the heads of KHYF when Kausthub was forced to step down?

My intuition says yes.

Curiouser and curiouser.

As is my local yoga scene.  In the last few weeks I’ve heard stories that make me shake my head and put my hands to my ears saying “lalalalalalala……”  Then I was handed some foolish online nonsense by a local teacher that it all makes me wonder what the frack is in the air.  The energy workers I know all speak about a shift that is accelerating and you’d better lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way.

I’m out of here.

Enjoy my silence.

Enjoy_the_Silence_by_WickedNox

finding my tribe

godsNgoddesses

Recently my Kali Sister, Svasti, wrote about finding her tribe.  I can certainly relate to that.  That has pretty much been the story of my life. usually an outsider, always the loner.  I’m that person whom when you first meet me you think I’m a bitch or creepy because I don’t do small talk, never have.  I’m a hard nut to crack.  A former boss told me a very long time ago that those who give up or who don’t want to make the effort aren’t worthy to be in my life anyway.  My nickname used to be Loba (Spanish feminine for wolf) because as I was told, wolves and wild women are always misunderstood.

This relates to the tarot card reading I had last week.   Besides what I wrote about the reader was emphatic when she told me that I should “be ready” when I get back from India because I will “need” to find a bigger space for teaching, she was certain of it.   Whether it is enlarging my home shala, renting space, collaborating with someone,  whatever it is, she said it will happen.  And yesterday it fell into my lap.

Yesterday I met a former student now yoga teacher for coffee.  We had a lovely discussion and she said she had a theory about me (I love hearing people’s theories about me), that I am not a “pushing” teacher but a “pulling” teacher.  By “pushing” she meant the type of teacher who is always telling you to take their classes, filling your in box with emails about workshops, etc.

In her opinion a “pulling” teacher draws you in by virtue of, well, by not doing the things a pushing teacher does.  Students find a pulling teacher on their own, kind of like a resonance, radar, synchronicity, whatever you want to call it.  I thought about what she said and realized that my home shala students are just like that because they’ve been with me almost since Day One of my teaching over 10 years ago.

This woman only took 16 weeks of yoga with me more than a few years ago at a place where I no longer teach but she said she never lost sight of me, she always followed my doings.  We reconnected because she invited me to take her class, a class specifically for belly dancers as she is one herself.  Her teaching was lovely, the real deal, it wasn’t scripted, it was honest and smart.  She is a new teacher but not a “new” teacher if you know what I mean.  She is already seasoned and has marinated for a while and long time readers of this blog know what I mean by how yoga marinates us.

The space where she teaches is inside a belly dance studio that is inside a holistic center in an old, rehabbed building (read: “with character and good energy”) in an area where I used to teach.  The holistic center offers energy work, acupuncture, holistic chiropractic care, among other things.  When I walked in I was greeted immediately by the person at the door with warmth and laughter and the building had nice, uplifting energy.  The yoga teacher who had the space for a number of years left (from what I hear she couldn’t make a go of it for whatever reason) and my friend suggested me to the belly dance studio operator.  She then connected us on Facebook and before I had a chance to respond, the proprietress contacted me.  We will start discussions and if it’s meant to be when I return in April, it’s meant to be, I’m open.

What does this have to do with finding my tribe?  That I should find my own tribe is something my astrologer first told me years ago, even before I went to India the first time.  It’s in my natal chart plain as day.  The longer I teach, the more I realize the so-called yoga community is not my tribe, but there is nothing negative in that idea.  It just is.  Unfortunately some in my local yoga scene think that if you’re not with us, you’re against us.   No, not so because I’ve never been part of mainstream anything.  I’ve always walked to a different drummer, you say go right and I go left.  It’s probably why I’ve never had any desire to attend any type of yoga fest.

Without getting into any specifics I’ve heard a plethora of stories lately about people in my local yoga scene, stories about teachers and owners, the usual yoga studio drama yama, all of which makes me uber-glad once again that I teach out of my house.  It also makes me glad that I am leaving for India a week from this Sunday.  As a friend told me, “I bet you can’t wait to leave.”

So given the stories I’ve heard lately and one thing that happened to me just this week (again, no specifics), Kali Ma gave me a slap upside the head as She is prone to do.  Boom Shiva!  I thought, it ain’t the yoga peeps, baby, it never was, my tribe is other energy workers (why the serious call last year to learn more energy healing?) and dancers (since I connect with dance as much as I do with yoga.)

Coincidence about the possible space?  I think not.

Boom laka laka laka, I’m gonna take it higher.

let’s give ‘em something to talk about

Fasten your seatbelts, kids!  I’ve seen a flurry of articles about yoga on Facebook that SCREAM for pithy comments!

Here goes:

Tony Perkins Upset That ‘Goofy’ Yoga Classes ‘Driving Religion Out’ Of Military

Christian conservative leader Tony Perkins is upset — this time, about yoga classes being offered to military members.

Why? Because the “goofy” style of exercise has been used as a “wacky” substitute for a “personal relationship with God,” effectively driving religion out of the military.

My first thought on that was hmmmmm……maybe if yoga was not taught as strictly a fitness regimen in many places (“power” yoga, “yoga boot camp”, etc.) and the therapeutic (healing for both body and mind) aspects were emphasized, maybe this guy wouldn’t think it was a “goofy style of exercise.”  Maybe if he knew that real yoga is all about healing and transformation……  but I know I ask for too much.

I am  not talking about yoga therapy.  I am talking about therapeutic aspects of yoga in general.  I don’t separate the therapeutic aspects in my classes.  I occasionally do private yoga therapy sessions (such as trauma sensitive yoga), but I consider ALL my classes therapeutic in one way or another.  In western yoga culture, there is yoga and then there is yoga therapy.  Separation.  Duality.  No one called Krishnamacharya a “yoga therapist.”   Krishnamacharya’s principle was “Teach what is inside you, not as it applies to you, to yourself, but as it applies to the other.“   He taught that yoga should always be adapted to the unique needs of each individual.   When people lined up down the street outside his door he prescribed practices for them based on their individual needs, asana+pranayama+meditation.  It was just yoga.  It saddens me that I still have to explain to people that yoga heals, it’s not all about getting your ass kicked in a yoga class.

Actor, columnist, cook: Meet Yoga’s glamour girl Kathryn Budig

Damn, and I thought I was yoga’s glamour girl!  Ripped off again!  A comment from my Facebook page:  “‘she realized she was meant to be a yoga teacher.’  I never had that realization.  Rather, my teachers told me.  And I resisted.”

My teacher also told me to become a teacher and I resisted, too, but I became a teacher at 48, an age that some people think you’re all washed up.  I read something the other day:  in this culture when a woman hits her 50s she becomes invisible to men.  When a woman hits her 60s she becomes invisible to other women.   Good thing Ms. Budig is already a sensation at the ripe age of 29.

A New Year’s Resolution for Queer and Trans People of Color: Forget the Gym, Occupy Yoga Studios

This piece rocks!  I absolutely love it.  Although I am not black/brown/L/B or T, I feel the same way:

I’m tired of Googling “yoga” only to have images spat back at me that scream entitlement–the kind of entitlement that comes with being able to pay $18 for a class that takes place in some bourgie studio with the words “om” and “namaste” printed on everything and giant pictures of the Hindu God Ganesha everywhere.

I’ll tell you what I’m tired of:  yoga bleaching. 

yoga bleaching: 1. a form of marketing in which yoga or an image of yogic lifestyle is used to make an otherwise unrelated product appear to be in line with yogic principles. 2. the act of using yoga or an image of yogic lifestyle to sell an unrelated product. 3. a form of spin or marketing intended to deceive consumers into believing that a product is related to yogic practice or theory when in fact it is not.

The local studio is selling a natural deodorant with the name of DeOm.  Yes, you read it correctly:  DE OM with a conspicuous AUM symbol on the bottle.  It was created by a teacher at the studio using minerals and organic herbs.  You can sweat like a horse in your hot vinyasa class but not stink like a street in India:

pondicherry sign

Now I am all for women entrepreneurs and I know the teacher; she’s very nice, I like her, and I hope she makes a lot of money, I really do.   HOWEVER…..using a sacred symbol to push your product a la yoga bleaching makes me all types of itchy.  A different name and image perhaps such as LOTUS, even AKASHA?  I would probably buy a natural deodorant named Lotus or Akasha but wiping something with the AUM symbol under my arms?  But hey, that’s me.

Would it be any different if I invented some new fangled toilet paper and named it “Jesus Wipes” and put His image on it?

Just askin’.

Not Your Parents’ Yoga

Jason Brown once again knocks it out of the park:

Among serious-minded practitioners, there is palpable discontent with the course the yoga industry seems to be on. Teachers, who in the past were voices defining what yoga is in the 21st century, are now understandably more concerned with enjoying their latter years than attempting to push back against entrenched forces that care little for the soul of yoga. The newer generation has often been thrown out into the wilderness without the tools or knowledge to fulfill their impulse to carry the torch. In the absence of teachers framing the conversation and defining yoga in authentic ways, the market will always fill the gap with whatever sells….

One of my readers here wrote to me and said how refreshing it was to see someone doing “old school” with no apologies. There is much to be said about staying true to yourself and not caving to mainstream.  I may not have lots of students because I no longer teach in studios but as a friend told me, I and my students have created a true sangha, old school yoga way.

Folks are not buying just anything as yoga anymore. And they are telling their friends. The rampant commercialization and co-opting of yoga has become so overblown that even the unfamiliar are skeptical. Times remain too tough to effectively continue hocking candy-coated platitudes. From out of the daunting malaise of pressures and seeming demise, conditions are becoming more ripe to slough off obsolete thinking. No more will we be led around by false gurus or complacent with hypocrisies. No longer will success be defined by status or achieved at the expense of others.  We can and will do better. Let us have the courage to imagine it so.

I’m certainly not a yoga sensation like Ms. Budig but when a woman younger than her tells this Crone, “You are a life saver.  Without you I would be a stressed out 20 year old bitching about everything.  Now I live my life and I’m writing my own story and I have never felt better.  I tell everyone about you and how you guide people to find not only  happiness but themselves.  I thank you for opening my eyes to that.”….

….. THAT is success.  Priceless.

The New Mantra: Replacing ‘Om’ With ‘Glam’

The athletic-wear company Lululemon, known for its yoga togs, introduced a meditation-specific capsule collection in fall 2012, with pieces retailing at relatively affordable prices, including a Devotion Long-Sleeve Tee ($68) and an Intuition Sweater Wrap ($178) that doubles as a meditation blanket. With its extra-deep hood, the Please Me Pullover ($118) is perfect to wear during Zen Buddhist meditation practice, said Amanda Casgar, a spokeswoman for the company, since during the process “you keep your eyes open but focus on a point on the floor in front of you. Pulling the hood right down over your eyes automatically creates that line of sight,” she said.
For the more affluent enthusiast, Donna Karan’s Urban Zen line, affiliated with her charitable wellness foundation of the same name, has become a popular choice (sweat pants, $995).

Oh.  My.  Goddess.  How the hell did anyone meditate before the Please Me Pullover?!?  I mean, really?  Apparently these guys don’t know a damn thing about yoga and meditation ’cause they’re all nekkid!  How did they survive all these years?

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Real Yogis, Kumbh Mela, Haridwar, 2010

“When meditating, the author Gabrielle Bernstein avoids belts or drawstring pants. “Tying anything to your body blocks the energy flow,” she said.”  Please show me the palm leaf in India where that is written.   Is that in the secret palm leaf library in Tamil Nadu?

Note the traditional red string tied around the waists of these babas.

Just sayin’.

Lastly, while this is not a post on yoga per se, I believe it is relevant considering the NYT piece.

Creativist Manifesto:  Consumer v. Creator

I think it absolutely ties in with modern yoga.

Being a consumer means accepting an essentially passive role in our life, one in which we seek fulfillment through the accumulation of stuff, whether it be material goods, a high status job, or even in terms of our relationships.

And yet, increasingly, we know that living our life as consumers is damaging us—damaging us as individuals and as a society, and damaging the earth that supports us. As consumers, we are left searching for that which will give meaning to our lives, as we fail to find lasting satisfaction in consumption….

Instead of seeing ourselves as consumers, I believe we need to see ourselves as Creativists.

A Creativist is a person who creates and connects and acts. Creativists are connected with who they are and are driven from the inside out, rather than being defined by a position as a consumer in society. Creativists fulfill their need to create which is part of all of us. Creativists use their gifts, and in doing so connect with others and in turn society benefits.

The distinction is clear. Consume versus Create. And the forces of consume versus create contain within them a series of choices that we make everyday in our lives—in our relationships, at work and in our communities.

And that’s why Yoga — REAL Yoga — is a radical act.  As Krishnamacharya said, “Yoga is a process of replacing old patterns with new and more appropriate patterns.”  Real Yoga enables us to make appropriate choices for our relationships, work, and communities.

The renouncers of the Vedic rituals, the ancient yogis, the sramanas,  were radicals who made the choice to break free of mainstream 8th Century BC.

No special clothes required.

the Rune Inguz

“Drawing this Rune may mark a time of joyful deliverance, of new life, a new path. A Rune of great power, receiving it means that you now have the strength to achieve completion, resolution, from which comes a new beginning.”

“As you resolve and clear away the old, you will experience a release from tension and uncertainty.
You may be required to free yourself from a rut, habit or relationship; from some deep cultural or behavioral pattern… The time of birth is always a critical one. Movement can involve danger, and yet movement that is timely leads out of danger.” -Ralph H. Blum

Runes are the letters in the runic alphabets which were used to write various Germanic languages before the adoption of the Latin alphabet and for specialized purposes thereafter, some of the specialized purposes being divination.

Today I had a tarot card reading specifically for my upcoming trip and the reader asked me to pick a rune out of bag.  I picked the rune pictured above.  It gave me chills.  The meaning was potent because my astrologer has been telling me for years that I’m “pregnant”, ready to give birth to something BIG, something that will rock my world.  Or THE world.   She has told me more than once that I am at the end of a learning cycle, near completion.  Done marinating as I like to say.

What is fascinating to me is that this rune is about male fertility AND the Moon, which is feminine energy.  That’s fine because I am a woman with more yang energy than yin although  yoga has balanced that out over the years.

From my readings today I learned that inguz contains the essence of both male and female energy.  That’s certainly Shiva-Shakti — if they are not held within the seed, there can be no life.

What Rune Inguz means

The first Osho-Zen tarot card drawn in the tarot reading was “traveling.”  Coincidence?  I don’t believe in coincidences.  Every card after that had words such as rebirth, totality, breakthrough, silence.  Breakthrough, busting out of stale paradigms, I can dig it.  The reader said that when I return from India things will be very different for me in my personal yoga world, that I should seriously consider finding a space for teaching.

I’m going to Varanasi, the city where the dead are cremated on the banks of the Ganges and their ashes thrown into the holy river.   Death and rebirth.

I’m ready.

 

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