Life can change in seconds and everything you built can go up in flames in less than 30 minutes. Fire is a hell of a lesson in anicca, the Buddhist concept of impermanence. We control nothing.
It is rare that I ask people to donate money to any cause but I and a friend in Varkala, India want to raise $100,000 to help the victims of a massive fire. Varkala is where I held my first yoga retreat in India, 2013 and where I plan to hold another one next year. My friend is a guesthouse owner in Varkala and she will be the one to distribute the money equally among the victims.
As many readers know, India is my second home and Varkala, a small coastal town in Kerala, and its people have a very special place in my heart. It is where I will most likely conduct yoga teacher trainings in the future. I hope to live there part-time.
On Friday morning, April 17th, a massive fire happened in Varkala in the area called Tibetan Market. Almost 15 shops were gutted, three restaurants destroyed, and other buildings were damaged. According to local newspapers the fire started due to sparks from overhead electric lines near the area. The sparks fell on a roof made from combustible material and combined with exploding propane gas canisters in restaurants, the fire spread rapidly. People barely escaped with their lives. The Tibetan families are left with nothing – no shops, no money, and no homes. They are living in a temporary housing with food being donated to them. The youngest homeless child is barely 2 weeks old.
Unlike in the West the victims do not have insurance and do not have any support except from private initiatives. India does not have public service relief agencies as the West does.
The only consolation is that no lives were lost and it happened after tourist season, however, the victims absolutely need to start rebuilding homes, shops, and restaurants now before tourists start arriving later this year.
The official estimated loss is Rs.30 Lakhs — that is about US$50,000 or 45000 EUR, but that is only a very preliminary estimate, twice that amount is needed to rebuild. To that end, I created a crowdfunding page on GoFundMe. In the sidebar it says that this blog has over 800 followers. If everyone donated a mere $25, that would raise about $20,000. That is over a million rupees which is a huge amount of money in India and many could rebuild. The gofundme page has already raised $1,000, however there are administrative fees that are deducted from that amount.
I hope Linda’s Yoga Journey readers can find it in their hearts and souls to donate something, even if it’s $10! You can donate very easily on this link: http://www.gofundme.com/sd8gcus
Know anyone with deep pockets? Maybe some of you know know a person who can donate hundreds or even thousands of dollars so please share!
It is never too early to start planning and saving for a trip to India, especially if it is your first time.
I am using the tour company I used for my trip to Rajasthan this year because I was so happy with their customer service and they have come up with an amazingly awesome itinerary. It is so amazing that even I, an 8 time traveler to India, am impressed!
I am planning this trip for September 2015 when the hotels are less expensive and the timing gives prospective travelers one year to save. A friend told me she saves every $5 bill she receives for her vacation fund. It all adds up!
Also, as I did with my yoga retreat trip in 2013, a portion of what you pay will be donated to The Banyan women’s shelter in Chennai, India. Go on this trip and you are helping women. Compassion in action.
Where possible we will have time for Yoga and meditation as well as discussions regarding our experiences. We will have one guide throughout the entire trip. You will have ample time for the usual sightseeing and shopping. Travel between towns will be via a comfortable bus. The complete trip will be 15 days with the first and last days being for arrival and departure. Final pricing yet to be determined however I estimate the final price to be under $3,000, excluding your airfare to Chennai.
You can Google all of these cities to learn where you will be going!
The bottom line:
1. if you come on this trip it will be a trip of a lifetime;
2. you will help women in a women’s shelter in Chennai, India;
3. it will be the trip of lifetime
IF NOT NOW, WHEN?
NOTE: O/N = OVERNIGHT IN A CITY
DAY 01 : Arrive Chennai. O/N stay at Chennai.
DAY 02 : Leave Chennai to Kancheepuram (75 kms / 02 hrs), visit Ekambaranathar Temple (element of Earth) & Kailasnatha Temple (shiva temple). O/N stay Kancheepuram.
DAY 03 : Leave Kancheepuram to Tiruvannamalai (130 kms / 03 hrs). Visit Arunachaleshwarar Temple (Element of Fire), circumbulate Arunachala Mountain
O/N stay at Tiruvannamalai.
DAY 04 : At Tiruvannamalai visit Sri Ramana Mahrishi Ashram. O/N stay at Tiruvannamalai.
DAY 05 : Leave Tiruvannamalai to Pondicherry (100 kms / 0230hrs drive). O/N stay at Pondy.
DAY 06 : Visit French quarters (old part) of Pondicherry & Auroville International village.
DAY 07 : Leave Pondicherry to Kumbakonam (180 kms / 04 hrs drive), enroute visit Chidambaram Sri Nataraja Temple (Element of Sky), and later continue to visit Gangai konda Cholapuram (Shiva temple). O/N stay at Kumabakonam.
DAY 08 : At Kumbakonam, visit Kumbeshwarar temple (Shiva), Swamimallai Temple (Murugan), Darasuram Iravateeshwarar Temple (Shiva). O/N stay at Kumbakonam.
DAY 09 : leave Kumbakonam to Trichy (110 kms / 03 hrs drive), enroute visit Tanjore Sri Brahadeeshwarar temple (Shiva) and Tanjore Palace with Art Gallery. O/N stay at Trichy.
DAY 10 : At Trichy, visit Rock Fort Mountain temple (Ganesh), visit Srirangam Ranganathaswami Temple (Vishnu), Thiruvaanaikovil Sri Jambukeshwarar Temple (Element of water). O/N stay at Trichy.
DAY 11 : Leave Trichy to Karaikudi (90 kms / 02 hrs), on arrival visit Chettinadu village well known for their architecture and Chettinadu food and where group can witness the Chettinad cooking demonstration at the hotel.
I returned from India last week dazed and depressed and feeling like I had been deposited onto a different planet. The fact that the temperature in Chicago was literally 60 degrees colder than what I had experienced for almost three months in South India did not help either. But here I am for better or for worse.
My trip was a mixed bag of love and hate, positive and negative, joy and sadness, and bittersweetness. Like life. The group trip to the Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram and yoga retreat in Varkala was a life training, that’s for sure. Let’s just say: I learned a lot about egos with a capital E and how to deal with them.
The majority of the time it was wonderful (how could it not be when I am in my soul’s home?) and most of the first timers to India were very happy, falling in love with Ma India as I did 8 years ago. However, for my next retreat — YES, I AM CRAZY ENOUGH TO PLAN TWO YOGA RETREATS FOR 2014! — there will be ground rules in place like, “accept what is offered to you” and “this isn’t about you, it’s about the GROUP.” Behavior that I deem inappropriate and not conducive to harmonious group dynamics will not be tolerated and people will be asked to leave, no refunds. Just sayin’.
Amanda the Yogachicky has been writing fabulous posts about the group trip and her first time in India. We’ve been online friends for a long time and we finally met in Chennai which she chronicled here. You can read about our week at the Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram here.
Leaving India gets harder and harder for me each time. My friends there don’t want me to leave and tell me they love me. One friend hooked me up with a lawyer whom I spoke to about starting a business in India. No matter where I am whether it’s a big city like Chennai or a bigger city like Mumbai (that I experienced for the first time and had a wonderful time thanks to another online friend — read Sharell’s story on the amazing slum tour we took) or walking the beach in Varkala, a feeling that suddenly makes me weep passes through me like an electric wave. It is tangible and visceral, that feeling of being totally in the flow, how what I am doing in that moment feels so natural and perfect and right, much more so than when I am back living where I live. The feeling of being dropped onto a different planet never hits me when I land in India only upon my return.
One of the participants sent me this quote from Somerset Maugham’s The Moon and Sixpence (you can change the pronoun and gender):
” I have an idea that some men are born out of their due place. Accident has cast them amid strangers in their birthplace, and the leafy lanes they have know from childhood or the populous streets in which they have played, remain but a place of passage. They may spend their whole lives aliens among their kindred and remain aloof among the only scenes they have ever known.
Perhaps it is this sense of strangeness that sends men far and wide in the search for something permanent, to which they may attach themselves. Perhaps some deep-rooted atavism urges the wanderer back to lands which his ancestors left in the dim beginnings of history. Sometimes a man hits upon a place to which he mysteriously feels he belongs. Here is the home he sought, and he will settle amid scenes that he has never seen before, among men he has never known, as though they were familiar to him from his birth. Here at last he finds rest.”
I started teaching in Varkala. My style of yoga is eclectic and I taught so that people gradually got into Erich Schiffmann’s Freedom Style yoga as I interpret it. I know I took two people out of their comfort zone with it and with yin yoga. The bottom line: I don’t know what the hell type of yoga I teach. I put no name to it other than “mindful.” I don’t know how to market my style to draw people and we all know that yoga nowadays is all about the marketing. I guess my students here who’ve been with me since almost Day 1 of my teaching can answer my question because I sure as hell can’t. I don’t want to be put inside a yoga box because as a friend told me this morning, I was put on earth to shake things up. So if you dig what I teach, cool; if not, oh well.
In spite of having some less than stellar moments during the group trip, I love showing people my India (not your India, not his India, not her India, but my India.) A friend tells me that he thinks I am meant to be a Westerner’s guide to India (this friend has agreed to co-teach the next two week retreat in Varkala so stay tuned for those details!) The prospect of starting a business in India makes ideas swirl in my brain, one of which is running a guesthouse where I can offer yoga classes and energy healing. We shall see. Goddess willing.
This is what one person in the group had to say:
“If Lady Luck or good fortune or the grace of god showers you with her serene and beguiling smile a time or two, you may pause in appreciation and recognition that being alive can be, well, pretty darn good. And when that invisible hand so softly and gently guides you to a place beyond which you have only allowed yourself to imagine, you may pinch yourself again and again to be sure you’re not dreaming.
It wasn’t a dream. It was, in fact, two plus weeks of the most in-your-face, raw, sensual, noisy, chaotic, exhilarating, life affirming, life changing, drama-producing, tranquility-inducing living that you might ever ask for. Oh, and loving and lovely, too. It was my first visit to India. All put together by Linda Karl, our guide, interpreter, arranger, teacher and very passionate Indiaphile.
What started with very pedestrian concerns about jet lag and more heartfelt concerns about being half a world away from my family, was immediately seized by Mother India and transformed into an experience that was so far beyond my expectations that I’ll spend the rest of my life sorting it out.
Yes, this was a yoga study trip that included a week with some of the most accomplished teachers you could hope for at the Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandarim in Chennai. We practiced asana and pranayama, learned about Patanjali’s Sutras and the Bhagavad Gita, meditated and, for some of us, used our pitch-challenged voices to bring sound to Vedic chanting. Every day was full and complete and that doesn’t include the walk to KYM on streets filled with noises, smells, sights and sounds that invaded every sensory pore, every moment, unfiltered. It was double Red Bull India.
The second week at Varkala Beach was India light – every bit as real but allowing you to catch your breath. A tropical forest of coconut palms, banana and jack fruit trees and other forms of greenery not found in more familiar climes were set high on a cliff overlooking the Arabian Sea with small shops selling everything Indian and restaurants with the freshest catches of the day and cold Kingfishers to wash it all down. Here each day started with two hours of Linda’s interpretation of Freedom style yoga. The remainder of most days was unplanned and thus afforded time to ease into conversations with the other seven members of our group. For me, this is when the rose came into full bloom. The combination of intense yoga study and practice in a country that gave no quarter to a first time Westerner left me exposed. And into this opening walked seven people who shared some of their most intimate joys and hurts. That’s when I knew this was and will forever be an experience of a lifetime.
Since returning home I have savored innumerable moments and tossed and turned many thoughts. For anyone so inclined, ever how slightly, to consider making his or her own visit to India, allow Linda be your guide. Timshel.”
It’s the most beautiful thing a student can say about the experience a teacher offers them.
Happy belated New Year! May you all be well and happy and peaceful in 2013!
This is my first post of 2013 which is amazing to me since I started writing this blog in 2005 before my first trip to India. But it is also my last post for a while because I will step onto Indian soil for the 7th time on January 29. I’m blessed and oh so grateful to be able to have traveled to Ma India all these years. That realization is never lost on me because India is truly my soul’s home. As someone told me, my trips are not just to study yoga, they are pilgrimages. Jai Ma.
This trip will be very different as a group of 7 intrepid travelers and yoga practitioners will be meeting me in Chennai for my first attempt at a group trip. Kali help me. I could never be a full-time travel agent because the details of organizing this trip have given me more than a few migraines. And I am quite accustomed to being alone in India which is how I like to be. Now I will be with 7 other people for a full 16 days. It surely will be a test but I expect nothing less from Ma.
One thing that is VERY COOL is that I finally get to meet my long-time blog reader and cyber-friend Svasti! How exciting is that? Since we are both sisters of Kali we thought meeting up in Kali’s city of Calcutta would be auspicious.
Back to Chennai for a few days after the retreat then off to Goa and Mumbai, both for the first time. I was invited to Mumbai by Sharell who writes Diary of a White Indian Housewife and I said “why not?” because life is too short and I have a lot more years behind me than I have ahead of me. I found out about this yoga place in Mumbai and contacted them about whether they would be interested in hosting me for a workshop before I leave India. They said yes, so maybe I will bring Yin Yoga to Mumbai….we shall see!
After all that, I will start plans to an October 2014 yoga retreat to this place in the Himalayas….interested? Two of my students already are thinking about going.
As for me and my yoga, 2012 was a year of santosha once I returned home from India. It’s hard to explain but I’ll try.
Although I cut two weeks off my trip last year, I surely did not want to come home because I was content where I was and how I was. I realized in India what a freak I am in my local yoga scene of hot yoga and acro-yoga and yoga with weights and yoga with such names that I can’t even figure out what it is. People feel bad when I call myself a yoga freak but I don’t hold any bad connotations on that word just like my hippie friends and I were proud to call ourselves freaks back in the day. So yeah, I consider myself a yoga freak and I let my freak flag fly. You either dig it or not.
My yoga practice is more meditation than asana now and an epiphany came up and bit me in the ass as it usually does: santosha. I used to get bent out of shape about not having a load of students. Frantic as a matter of fact and I almost quit teaching. Since I no longer teach in studios (other than workshops), the only regular students I have come to my house. A friend told me that we are true sangha because it is yoga the old school way. My students are 150% supportive of me even though I will be gone 10 weeks — they know I need to get back to India to re-nourish myself and they know I bring back more yoga for them. My students are empowered enough to do their own practice at home when I’m gone.
I almost canceled my group trip because of the Kausthub mess, but only one person backed out; the rest trusted my judgment about continuing the trip and studying at KYM and the majority of those coming have never met me. That speaks volumes.
I get a ton of hits on my website but my phone does not ring off the hook — in fact, it does not ring at all — for yoga inquiries. I get no calls for private yoga, trauma sensitive or otherwise. I’ve been told that with my training and experience I could make $100,000 a year in New York City teaching private classes. I worked with one woman all last summer who was a survivor of sexual assault and she got to the point where she reunited with her husband and was able to move out of town, a story of transformation. But other than that, nada.
Do I care? I can honestly say no. I’m detached from the fruit of my actions. Sometimes it’s scary how detached I am. My gut is telling me that the detachment will open me up for something much greater than I can imagine. Those who want my style of yoga will find me, those that don’t, won’t. And I am finally content with that. And that’s liberating. My own practice has gone so inward that I’ve turned myself inside out. Last year I had planned to go to Varanasi but while meditating I heard a voice tell me “everything you are seeking you already are.” That’s why it’s called insight meditation.
Yes, I still do workshops and I’m creating a Yoga for Inner Healing training that will utilize yin yoga and trauma sensitive yoga. I’ve been asked to teach twice monthly next year and a place where I taught once a month. I will work on “Freedom Style” Yoga workshops in the style of Erich Schiffmann. I should say, in MY Freedom Style as Erich suggested. Because that’s what yoga is to me: freedom. Once you silent mind, once you shut up, that’s when the knowledge flows in. That’s freedom.
I realized not too long ago that I’ve developed siddhis. Of course I am not talking about levitating or turning water into wine or developing the ability to drink poison unscathed. I am talking about the ability to watch a negativity come up and then burst like a balloon or disappear like a rising bubble in champagne. POP. GONE. Over and over again. That’s real magic. My reactions to things in the not too distant past that would have been loud and immediate just aren’t there anymore. POP. GONE. Those are the siddhis of transformation and I don’t quite have the words for it. But that’s OK because I don’t think about it, it just is. It’s this low-grade almost imperceptible constant buzz of santosha. Silent mind it and shut up and do your practice. Thinking less, feeling more.
I’ve done few yoga trainings this year but felt called to learn more energy work which I did in the form of Emotional Freedom Technique and Quantum Touch Healing. This is work I rarely talk about because when I talk about it someone invariably wants to label it and put it in a box, and that’s not what my energy work is about. People here are dazzled by “master” this or that and how many letters you have after your name on your business card. My friend in India just tells me “bring your healing.” No one asks me what it is, what it does, etc. etc. etc. because it’s understood as being a part of life. Something tells me to combine it with yoga but not here, there. I just can’t bring myself to name it Blah Blah Blah Quantum Reconnective Reiki Blah Blah Blah Yoga Blah Blah — as I saw a class similarily named today. It’s just yoga. It’s just healing. Life is yoga and life is transformation. That’s it.
There is always a morphing, a changing, a moving on inside me. I’ve always known my real home is the world and not where I live. I knew that when I was living by myself eating government cheese and using food stamps when I was in college. Maybe my niche is yoga travel to India and beyond. Maybe my teaching niche is to small, select groups who can see beyond mainstream.
A week from today I leave for my 6th trip to Ma India, my longest trip yet, 10 weeks. My internal alarm clock goes off and my body and mind start buzzing a week before any India trip. If you’ve been keeping up you already know with whom I’m studying and where I’m going. I think what is making the buzz even louder is that my bones are screaming at me that this trip will not be like any other I’ve taken. It is going to be very different.
2012-2013 will be transformative. Maybe transitional is a better word because I feel like I am a turning point in my life. For whatever reason a whole lot of stuff is ripening, maybe that’s the buzz I’ve been feeling for the last 6 months. As a long-time gardener I am very in tune with a garden’s growth so a sense of fecundity is certainly not lost on me. I recently had an amazing Tarot reading and one of the cards the reader pulled was that of a pregnant woman with a huge belly lying in a pumpkin patch entangled in thick vines…waiting to give birth but feeling like it will never happen.
For most of 2011 I felt stuck, trapped in the tired paradigm of what constitutes yoga in the modern scene, but also trapped in tired paradigms of relationships of all kinds. How to digest traumatic experiences without having them fill our hearts with hate and despair? I experienced despair last year that I have not experienced for a very long time. Buddhi (intelligence) is the function of the mind that digests our experiences by wisdom so that they serve their purpose of growth and renewal.
Fecundity, growth, renewal…see a pattern?
Toward the end of 2011 I came to grips with my place in the Universe. It’s about walking my path alone, shaking people up, turning things inside out and upside down. You best believe I have plans for that when I return. But that’s not an easy path and not always welcome, even in the yoga world.
The Tarot reader said that India mirrors back to me my true self, who I really am, and what I am capable of. She said there are many reasons I am drawn there but a major one is affirmation, people that bear witness to my work in this world. I’ve always said that people “get” me more there than here. Going back to India yearly re-charges, re-nourishes, and nurtures me in a way that nothing else does here. This is the first time since 2008 that I will be traveling alone in India and I am going to relish it — no one’s agenda but my own. Freya Stark said, “To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.”
I was alone, finally, with no one to protect me. I wanted to sing for happiness — a rare, raw, immediate sort of happiness that was directly related to my physical situation, to my surroundings, to independence, and to solitude. The happiness I felt that morning had nothing to do with the future or the past, with abstractions or with my relationships to other people. It was the happiness of entering into something new, of taking the moments simply for what they were, of motion, of freedom, and of free will. I loved not knowing what would happen next, loved that no one here knew me. I felt coordinated and strong, and the world seemed huge and vibrant. It was a relief to be alone…
My happiness was a feeling of physical lightness, of weightlessness, like drifting on air…
To prepare for her trip up the Nile, Mahoney read the Egypt travel journals of Gustave Flaubert and Florence Nightingale. She writes that she recognized in Flaubert’s notes of 1850 the same kind of happiness she felt. She quotes Flaubert as he witnesses the Nile:
I felt a surge of solemn happiness that reached out towards what I was seeing and I thanked God in my heart for having made me capable of such joy; I felt fortunate at the thought, and yet it seemed to me that I was thinking about nothing: it was a sensuous pleasure that pervaded my entire being.
Mahoney quotes Florence Nightingale’s reaction to a Nile sunrise:
It looks. . .so transparent and pure, that one really believes one’s self looking into a heaven beyond, and feels a little shy of penetrating into the mysteries of God’s throne…
This is the sunset taken from the top of a temple in Rameswaram and just beyond the horizon is Sri Lanka. During that evening in 2006 as I stood at the top of that temple and stared into the limitless expanse of ocean, I began to cry as I imagined the monkey god Hanuman leaping from rock to rock to rescue Sita. Like Flaubert, I also thanked the Universe that I was “capable of such joy.” Such profound joy and pleasure that it indeed pervaded my entire being.
Finally Mahoney describes Flaubert and Nightingale as neither having “any desire to fit the tediously cliched expectations that society had slated for them”; that they both “prized solitude”; and both traveled Egypt during periods of “considerable personal uncertainty and self-doubt”, agonizing “over how they would use their talents and answer their natural impulses.”
I am a woman of a certain age who travels alone, relishing my solitude. After traveling around the sun over 50 times, India was the first country overseas that I visited and if I can never return, I always carry India with me as a talisman.
I also do not suffer tediously cliched expectations gladly.
The wounds and arrows of my misfortunes sneak in sometimes when I’m not looking and I can only tend to them in the arms of the Mother. One way of tending to them is by reading the writing on the wall and acting upon it. The writing on the wall tells me “to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.” I will not die an unlived life.
The last card the Tarot reader pulled was called the Speaker of Trees and it contained a picture of a snake rising up through the center of the tree. The reader said that the card means power, confidence, brilliance, communication of new ideas and plans, everything coming together.
The title is tongue-in-cheek. I wish all my blog readers — and haters, especially the haters — a joyFULL and metta filled New Year and indeed, the same for all of 2012.
Looking back over 2011 I learned a lot this year — learned a lot in a somewhat quiet way, not so much in the hit-ya-over-the-head type of way. And what I learned was yeah, it IS all about me. Really.
The year started off with a bang as I had decided to stop writing after writing this blog for 6 years. Then this Yoga B.I.T.C.H. returned, renewed and refreshed. I did my thing all year, teaching my students and going for a few trainings, and then I hit the wall. I almost quit teaching this year and then I got re-inspired. I collaborated on a new and (we think) powerful Therapeutic Yoga Training that has garnered a lot of interest so far — but not where I live. But I’m OK with that finally. Esalen has asked us to send our yoga resumes. Yeah, you bet your asana I want to teach at Esalen. I’ve finally decided to conduct a teacher training and I’m planning a Yoga & Spirituality Retreat in March of 2013 where the Therapeutic Yoga Training will be an option.
I also decided not to allow myself be ruled by the current yoga business paradigm because I am so much more than that. Two yoga teachers who trust my vision are on board and if it’s meant to be, it will be. I honestly don’t care what the local yoga studio does because frankly, that business model is tired and stale and the people I want to teach to aren’t those people anyway. To that end, I decided to start a non-profit corporation in spite people telling me not to do it. Henry Ford once said that if he had asked people what they wanted they would have said “faster horses.” Think about it. I stopped allowing people without vision into my life. But a praying mantis taught me my biggest lesson.
My biggest lesson was listen to my heart.
Of course I know that I’ve been doing that for years, listening to my heart and to my second brain, my gut. But somehow I had lost my way a bit this year, I can’t explain exactly how. Maybe it was by trusting people too much, by expecting to be treated as I treat people when I should have no expectations at all. Yes, trust is a positive thing, but not at the cost of denying yourself. My life lesson at this stage of my 57 years on this Earth is that I am not responsible for anyone’s happiness and no one is responsible for mine. The key is to let go of everyone, and I mean everyone, who do not have your best interests at heart, the ones who do not support you, the ones who can not make the least bit of effort to sustain a relationship. Get rid of the “iffy” people as I call them. Life is too short for peoples’ “bar talk.” That’s over and done with, and like anywhere else, the yoga world has lots of bar talk. My Kali Sister Svasti has some good advice about what she has learned in her 40 years on the planet.
While that lesson has been rolling around in my consciousness for quite some time, it took events of this year to solidify it. Intuitively and energetically I know that my yoga trainings early next year in India — one with A.G. Mohan, and my 6th time at Desikachar’s school — are the culmination of my beginning. A cycle has come to an end. The long beginning was my 10 years of a yoga teaching. I learned that you can’t seriously refer to yourself as a teacher unless you’ve taught for at least 10 years. Sorry if that offends anyone. On second thought, no, I’m not sorry. I’m being real.
I also know intuitively and energetically that I am going to give birth to something potent and profound. Don’t mistake my confidence for arrogance. I know this as sure as I knew for two years that I had to be at the Kumbh Mela in Haridwar last year. Spiritual adepts have been telling me this for years — that the years 2012-2014 are going to be a rebirth. But you have to die to be reborn. Dying never bothered me, it’s living that’s hard.
We’ll see what Varanasi has in store. I’ll be there at the end of my trip at the end of March. Varanasi is also referred to as Benares or Kashi, the city of cremations, a city of death and rebirth, a city that like Haridwar last year, I know in my bones I must be there at that time of my life. North of Varanasi is Sarnath where Buddha did the First Turning of the Wheel of Dharma on the Four Noble Truths. One city of endings, one of beginnings. Between trainings I’m spending my time in Varkala in the south, where there is a 2,000-year old Janardana Swami Temple, a temple to Vishnu that is referred to as “Benares of the South.” In Varanasi I’m staying near Assi Ghat, the same ghat where Krishnamacharya stayed when he studied in Varanasi in the early 20th century. My India trips are always filled with such serendipity.
I’m ready for a new beginning. I believe you either lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way. Those are your three choices in life and I don’t have time for vanilla or beige anymore. As Danielle LaPorte writes:
“The obligation to go to “the place which the Lord your God will choose” (Deut. 16:16)”
“In religion and spirituality, a pilgrimage is a long journey or search of great moral significance.”
“Journey to a shrine or other sacred place undertaken to gain divine aid, as an act of thanksgiving or penance, or to demonstrate devotion.”
Five years ago the seeds of my teaching in Africa were planted when a fellow student at the Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram asked me to come teach in Tanzania. I will never know the reason she sensed I was capable of that.
Two years ago the seeds of going to the Kumbh Mela were planted when I suddenly knew without a doubt that I had to be in Hardiwar at this specific time in my life and nothing would stop me. It is a deep knowing that I can not explain.
In 7 hours it all begins when I step on the plane. I’ve been told that at the Kumbh Mela I will meet a holy man who will tell me something that will change my life “forever.”
And I will thank the Universe in my heart for having made me capable of such joy.