finding my tribe


Recently my Kali Sister, Svasti, wrote about finding her tribe.  I can certainly relate to that.  That has pretty much been the story of my life. usually an outsider, always the loner.  I’m that person whom when you first meet me you think I’m a bitch or creepy because I don’t do small talk, never have.  I’m a hard nut to crack.  A former boss told me a very long time ago that those who give up or who don’t want to make the effort aren’t worthy to be in my life anyway.  My nickname used to be Loba (Spanish feminine for wolf) because as I was told, wolves and wild women are always misunderstood.

This relates to the tarot card reading I had last week.   Besides what I wrote about the reader was emphatic when she told me that I should “be ready” when I get back from India because I will “need” to find a bigger space for teaching, she was certain of it.   Whether it is enlarging my home shala, renting space, collaborating with someone,  whatever it is, she said it will happen.  And yesterday it fell into my lap.

Yesterday I met a former student now yoga teacher for coffee.  We had a lovely discussion and she said she had a theory about me (I love hearing people’s theories about me), that I am not a “pushing” teacher but a “pulling” teacher.  By “pushing” she meant the type of teacher who is always telling you to take their classes, filling your in box with emails about workshops, etc.

In her opinion a “pulling” teacher draws you in by virtue of, well, by not doing the things a pushing teacher does.  Students find a pulling teacher on their own, kind of like a resonance, radar, synchronicity, whatever you want to call it.  I thought about what she said and realized that my home shala students are just like that because they’ve been with me almost since Day One of my teaching over 10 years ago.

This woman only took 16 weeks of yoga with me more than a few years ago at a place where I no longer teach but she said she never lost sight of me, she always followed my doings.  We reconnected because she invited me to take her class, a class specifically for belly dancers as she is one herself.  Her teaching was lovely, the real deal, it wasn’t scripted, it was honest and smart.  She is a new teacher but not a “new” teacher if you know what I mean.  She is already seasoned and has marinated for a while and long time readers of this blog know what I mean by how yoga marinates us.

The space where she teaches is inside a belly dance studio that is inside a holistic center in an old, rehabbed building (read: “with character and good energy”) in an area where I used to teach.  The holistic center offers energy work, acupuncture, holistic chiropractic care, among other things.  When I walked in I was greeted immediately by the person at the door with warmth and laughter and the building had nice, uplifting energy.  The yoga teacher who had the space for a number of years left (from what I hear she couldn’t make a go of it for whatever reason) and my friend suggested me to the belly dance studio operator.  She then connected us on Facebook and before I had a chance to respond, the proprietress contacted me.  We will start discussions and if it’s meant to be when I return in April, it’s meant to be, I’m open.

What does this have to do with finding my tribe?  That I should find my own tribe is something my astrologer first told me years ago, even before I went to India the first time.  It’s in my natal chart plain as day.  The longer I teach, the more I realize the so-called yoga community is not my tribe, but there is nothing negative in that idea.  It just is.  Unfortunately some in my local yoga scene think that if you’re not with us, you’re against us.   No, not so because I’ve never been part of mainstream anything.  I’ve always walked to a different drummer, you say go right and I go left.  It’s probably why I’ve never had any desire to attend any type of yoga fest.

Without getting into any specifics I’ve heard a plethora of stories lately about people in my local yoga scene, stories about teachers and owners, the usual yoga studio drama yama, all of which makes me uber-glad once again that I teach out of my house.  It also makes me glad that I am leaving for India a week from this Sunday.  As a friend told me, “I bet you can’t wait to leave.”

So given the stories I’ve heard lately and one thing that happened to me just this week (again, no specifics), Kali Ma gave me a slap upside the head as She is prone to do.  Boom Shiva!  I thought, it ain’t the yoga peeps, baby, it never was, my tribe is other energy workers (why the serious call last year to learn more energy healing?) and dancers (since I connect with dance as much as I do with yoga.)

Coincidence about the possible space?  I think not.

Boom laka laka laka, I’m gonna take it higher.

6 thoughts on “finding my tribe

  1. oh Linda, this makes me happy and sad all at once. Happy that once again I read your piece and I feel like you are speaking to me – if I was keeping count I would be up to a million times I’ve been told I’m a hard nut to crack and peoples first impression was ‘bitch’ or ‘cold’, the difficulties in ‘finding my tribe’ in the yoga teaching realm where I am & your connection to dance in addition to yoga. So it’s therefore has brought about some sadness (but no regret in my decision) that I will not be meeting you and learn from you in India….. I know our paths will cross one day though…..


    1. hey, Carmen, your decision not to go this time was right for you, no problem! next trip will be October 2014 to the Himalayas, so stay tuned for details! 🙂



  2. You already know we’re part of the same tribe. But I’m super-glad that this opportunity is coming your way! We’re gonna have soooo much to talk about when we meet! Btw energy work is a part of my future, too 🙂


  3. Oh, how I relate! I’ve always been a lone wolf kind of person, kept to myself mostly, didn’t talk unless I actually had something to say. Wolf is my totem, and in native american traditions (at least those of the plains, I believe) wolf is the teacher. People of the wolf clan are teachers, in whatever way that gets expressed. I don’t relate well with most yoga people. As you said, nothing negative in that, I’m just in a completely different dimension and wave-length. There is much being posted and said about transcending to 5th dimensional living. Many of us lightworkers have made that transformation, and many others are in the process. So we are having a harder and harder time relating to many of the things going on around us. We are just not part of it, even though we feel compassion and desire to help. We’re not getting embroiled in all the hype and fal-der-al, is all. If that even makes any sense!

    Blessed be!


    1. oh my god, I feel we are sisters from another mother! one of my ankle tattoos is a wolf paw print surrounded by feathers; the other ankle is bear claw and feathers. have ALWAYS felt affinity for wolves and bears and hawks. search my blog and read about my affinity for praying mantis.

      being in the yoga world I have to say that I don’t find much “groundedness” with many yoga people. the way I see it, if you are always love and light airy fairy, when the shit hits the fan you can get knocked off your cloud pretty hard.

      what you say makes total sense! wish we could meet!


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