One of my favorite yoga sites is YogaDawg’s and the Dawg honors me occasionally by popping in to read this blog. He commented on my $49.99 yoga certification post so I thought I’d give him a shout-out.
“Yoga Teacher Sub-classes:
These are new teachers who have graduated from one of the many teacher training courses that Yoga studios offer. The course will be for 4 weekends for a month. They will have taken this course and might have been practicing Yoga for a couple of years.
The Very Clueless
Same as above, but they have taken the Express version of the course that is held for two weekends in the month. You pray they have some Yoga under their belts.
The Extremely Clueless
Same as above but have taken the weekend teacher training course and probably exaggerate about how much Yoga they have done. Your only line of defense is to completely ignore them, do nothing they say to do. If you make the mistake of following their instruction be prepared to get injured.
TIP: It is always a good idea to make sure your health insurance is current before taking a Yoga class with the Extremely Clueless.”
The $1,000 Classer
The $1,000 Classer is easily identified by their Yoga accoutrements. They usually fall within the Yuppie and BoBo (Bourgeois Bohemian) class. Their mat will be all natural and organic with a surface embedded with grasses from the plains of India, hairs from the Indian Rhino, peacock feathers and dropping from Monkey Temple in Jaipur, India (sanitized and de-odorized of course). This mat will be in a designer mat bag patterned with images of Yoga poses, seated Buddhas and symbols of Shakti and Shiva. They will be wearing designer name yoga clothes made from a mixture of organic hemp and flex. They will sport nifty yoga wristbands and even Yoga shoes.
The $1,000 Classer will be carrying a bottle of water whose bottle is a designer masterpiece. It will contain water melted from the polar ice cap drilled from a mile and a half deep. They will have had so much fun buying this stuff that they will also purchase a yearly, unlimited pass the first day of class. The $1,000 Classer will be secure in the knowledge that the pass will allow them to strut around for a year in their new yoga getup. They will be salivating at all the cool Yoga stuff they see in the Yoga shop within the studio. The $1,000 Classer, however, will end up only attending one class….
No one is spared from Dawg’s scathing wit!
You rock, Dawg! There’s a special place in a Buddhist Hell Realm for both of us! See ya there!