irony rules

Ahimsa aside, if you do not see the irony in this you need one tight slap and told to snap out of it.

A yoga teacher friend sent me this basically asking “what the what?!?” This was in an email she received from Yoga Journal Online.

“Find personal yoga teachers expensive?”

Say what? Uh, thanks, Yoga Journal (and yes, I know it’s not Yoga Journal specifically but the advertiser), but does it really benefit all the yoga teachers out there for your advertiser to put the idea into peoples’ heads that private teachers are too expensive?

HELLO!! I’m trying to GET more private students, not drive them away! Thanks for nothing.

“Private yoga lessons directly from India”

Hmmmm….let’s see. I call Dell and get to talk to someone in Mumbai. Same with American Express.

Now we’re outsourcing yoga classes to India!

Forget the gym, forget the yoga studio, forget the private teacher. I will get on my computer and gosh darn it all to hell I can get a real authentic Indian to teach me some yoga.

Woo-hoo! No more stinky studio mats and gross toenails on the floor! No more people coming in late and leaving early! No more cell phones ringing in class! I’m just gonna order me up some yoga in the privacy of my bedroom! YAY! Who needs to interact with teachers face to face, I can shut it down and get a pizza in the middle of the class…now THAT’S a slice of yoga heaven!

And to think I made four trips to India and paid all that money to KYM…..what an idiot!

Click the ad and it will take you to Divine Wellness where you can sign up for a free private yoga lesson so knock yourself out:

“Private Yoga Lesson is conducted online using web camera. You get the same experience as a teacher guiding you step-by-step and continuously modifying the program as per your readiness. Only the teacher is across the internet. Even better, our qualified and experienced teachers are in India, the land of origin of Yoga.”

I like the “even better” part because yes, the most “qualified and experienced teachers are in India.” The next best thing is teachers who train in India and that’s me. So call me! I need more private clients. Will yoga for food, rates negotiable.

Go ahead. Get your free lesson and let me know how much they charge. Then I will tell you how much private yoga classes REALLY are in India. I’m rolling my eyes now.

If I had a webcam I would get that free trial and report back, but, hell…I don’t even own an IPod.

Wait a minute….why didn’t I think of this?

DOH! I need one tight slap.

addthis_pub = ‘yogagal60510’

Yoga Action Squad

(the dance of Shiva and Kali)

and now for something to take our minds off the Kali Yuga that we are living in…

Yoga Action Squad to the rescue!

a friend sent me this link this morning and I just about about blew my chai tea out my nose watching them. loved the one about the evil pilates teacher….

OM, y’all!


arf-arf! recommended by da’ Dawg…

YogaDawg that is!

woo-hoo, gettin’ down with the Dawg! I received an email from the Dawg himself telling me that he picked this blog as a “YogaDawg recommended blog”

I first wrote about YogaDawg back in January and again in October when he posted his video bio. Dawg’s video would make Bikram fall off his yoga throne with laughter.

I check in every so often to see what snide and sarcastic bits of yoga humor he has come up with. My favorite parts are still the sections on Yoga Teachers and Yoga Students — read through the descriptions and you’ll see someone you know or maybe yourself. Uh…and no, I’m not any of them. really.

Dawg and I are probably going to end up in a Buddhist Hell Realm for wise-ass yogis.

and yes…I’m still sick of seeing Shiva Rea’s hair blowing in the wind.

Long live YogaDawg!

who is YogaDawg?

One of my favorite yoga sites is YogaDawg’s and the Dawg honors me occasionally by popping in to read this blog. He commented on my $49.99 yoga certification post so I thought I’d give him a shout-out.

“Yoga Teacher Sub-classes:

The Clueless

These are new teachers who have graduated from one of the many teacher training courses that Yoga studios offer. The course will be for 4 weekends for a month. They will have taken this course and might have been practicing Yoga for a couple of years.

The Very Clueless

Same as above, but they have taken the Express version of the course that is held for two weekends in the month. You pray they have some Yoga under their belts.

The Extremely Clueless

Same as above but have taken the weekend teacher training course and probably exaggerate about how much Yoga they have done. Your only line of defense is to completely ignore them, do nothing they say to do. If you make the mistake of following their instruction be prepared to get injured.

TIP: It is always a good idea to make sure your health insurance is current before taking a Yoga class with the Extremely Clueless.”

Yoga Students

The $1,000 Classer

The $1,000 Classer is easily identified by their Yoga accoutrements. They usually fall within the Yuppie and BoBo (Bourgeois Bohemian) class. Their mat will be all natural and organic with a surface embedded with grasses from the plains of India, hairs from the Indian Rhino, peacock feathers and dropping from Monkey Temple in Jaipur, India (sanitized and de-odorized of course). This mat will be in a designer mat bag patterned with images of Yoga poses, seated Buddhas and symbols of Shakti and Shiva. They will be wearing designer name yoga clothes made from a mixture of organic hemp and flex. They will sport nifty yoga wristbands and even Yoga shoes.

The $1,000 Classer will be carrying a bottle of water whose bottle is a designer masterpiece. It will contain water melted from the polar ice cap drilled from a mile and a half deep. They will have had so much fun buying this stuff that they will also purchase a yearly, unlimited pass the first day of class. The $1,000 Classer will be secure in the knowledge that the pass will allow them to strut around for a year in their new yoga getup. They will be salivating at all the cool Yoga stuff they see in the Yoga shop within the studio. The $1,000 Classer, however, will end up only attending one class….

No one is spared from Dawg’s scathing wit!

You rock, Dawg! There’s a special place in a Buddhist Hell Realm for both of us! See ya there!

my third eye itches…

…I couldn’t have said it better myself…

take a break from my India travelog and check out the YogaDawg website…it’s hilarious!

I’ve always thought that too many yogis take themselves WAY too seriously…is anyone else sick of seeing Shiva Rea’s hair blowing in the wind?

Shiva, honey — I moved like you LONG before you ever trademarked “yoga trance dance”! I wish I would have thought of that because then I wouldn’t have to depend on these Google ads to finance my next trip to India…click on these ads, y’all, and send me back to India!

nice marketing strategy, girlfriend!

anyway, check out YogaDawg and see if you recognize anybody…or yourself!