Category: Uncategorized

really?

by L. Valdez Karl

On page 53 of the latest Yoga Journal there’s an ad for Slim Quick Ultra Calorie Burner to lose weight. In the same issue there is a story that the healing power of yoga will cure what ails America without pills or surgery.

Some magazines don’t accept advertising for products that are anathema to their magazine’s philosophy.

Apparently Yoga Journal does not have those same advertising ethics.

It would have been funnier if the ad was on a page that faced a story about yoga being about learning how to accept yourself and how you are perfect in this moment just the way you are. But that’s my sense of humor. Not everyone’s cup of chai.

I think that Calorie Burner is for everyone who wants to look better in those naked yoga classes.

Just sayin’

oneness, suchness

by L. Valdez Karl

“We are not separate;
we cannot be separate from Nature,
which sustains us in a vast interdependence with everything.

The universe comes perfectly
and is awesome in its integration and infinite existence.
It is our natural state.”  (Mark Whitwell)

There are certain images in my head from my trip that are still affecting me.  It was such an amazing adventure that words are much too puny a mechanism to try to describe what I experienced, so don’t expect a travelogue.  But I truly came to know what the spiritual adept told me last year when she said I would die in India and be reborn in Africa, because it happened, just like she said.  A holy man I met at the Mela, purely by chance — no, it was my good karma — changed my life forever.  Just as she foretold, the old me died.

The photo above is not one of mine, those will come later.  But it is what I saw at the bottom of the Ngorongoro Crater in Tanzania, which is called the 8th natural wonder of the world for good reason.

When you are standing in the middle of a wildebeast and zebra migration, an event that has been going on for thousands and thousands of years, you feel very insignificant.  There are no sounds, other than your breath and the grunts of the animals and the wind and the swishing of tails, and you know deep in your bones that things you thought were very important, really aren’t in the whole grand scheme of things.  Just as she foretold, a new me was reborn.

There is a difference in knowing and truly knowing that you know, and if one witnesses such a thing and does not come to know the true nature of interconnectedness…

that is, that thing we are supposed to come to truly know and feel as a result of an authentic yoga and meditation practice….

…then you are brain-dead.

Maybe more so, dead in the heart-mind.

Or at least sleeping ( = not awake.)

“What are you?,” the Buddha was asked after his time under the bodhi tree.

“I am awake,”, he responded.

Of course one does not have to travel to Africa, or anywhere else for that matter, to experience this. Maybe you only need to sit in your own backyard and mindfully watch and listen and feel.  During one session of my retreat I had the students do 30 minutes of walking meditation. None of them had ever done that before and their experiences were rather potent for them.  They were amazed.

There is knowing.

And knowing that you know.

No more discussion is needed.

how yoga heals: yin yoga and ulcerative colitis

by L. Valdez Karl

I believe that all yoga is healing if applied in the right manner. No one called Krishnamacharya a “yoga therapist” and you were surely not able to become certified as one back in his day. When I took my first two courses of study at the Krishnamacharya Yoga Mandiram, we listened every day to the stories of private students about how the particular style of yoga that is taught at KYM is a healing path. I have experienced my own healing at KYM with the private yoga therapy that was prescribed for me, certain asanas that I still do.

My work with private students is a mixed bag, but I always use what I learned, and continue to learn, at KYM. I have heard that style of yoga called “old ladies yoga” because it is a slow, deliberate practice, breath-based and heart centered. Some believe that “the kind of yoga he [Desikachar] espouses is becoming, like the polar bear, something of an endangered species.” I can tell you that I met more than few astangis at KYM, some of whom studied directly with Jois in Mysore, who came to KYM to heal their bodies. They told me that the yoga practiced at KYM was like a light bulb going off over their head. As for myself, after my first month-long intensive in 2005, my practice and my teaching changed forever.

So I am never surprised when my students tell me their stories of healing. Below is a story written by one of my students who is only 22 and no longer has a large intestine. I felt that a yin yoga practice would be extremely beneficial for her condition and my intuition was right-on — as I said, I believe all yoga is healing if applied correctly, it does not matter what the style is. I asked her to write her story so that others can read about the true power of yoga. However, please remember that yoga is not one size fits all — your body is different from this student’s, so your mileage may vary…;)

This is why I teach, and I am blessed to have students like this. I couldn’t get a better Christmas present than that.

*************************************

“For the past seven years I have been dealing with ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune disorder of the large intestine. During these years I have been hospitalized and medicated to keep my symptoms under control. Since the doctors could not find a medication or therapy that would be sustainable for my treatment over the long term a full colectomy, the removal of the large intestine, was performed on me in May of 2008. After some complications, I had my second surgery in July of 2008 and was considered “cured.” I was doing well until May of 2009 when I developed autoimmune pancreatitis. Twice in two months I was hospitalized for this condition, the doctors supplied me with pancreatic enzymes to take whenever I ate. Because I developed another autoimmune disorder, I decided that it was time for a change in my lifestyle and mindset, time to learn how to deal with the stress that life brings. For me, that step was to start taking a yoga class.

It was the last semester of my associates degree and I needed one more P.E. credit and since yoga was an option, my counselor and I decided that it would be a great class for me to take. This was not a decision based on physical fitness, it was a decision based on a need for a new mindset. So, I bought my textbook, leafed through it, and went to my first day of yoga. I walked in exhausted, nauseous, and in pain from my latest autoimmune disorder of my pancreas. That class we went over the syllabus and did some breath work. Before class ended, Linda announced that if you had any physical conditions, to stay and talk with her after class, little did I know that the conversation we would have would end up being my cure.

So I stayed afterward, waiting for the people with bad backs and knees to let Linda know about their issues that could affect the different poses that we might be doing in class. I explained to Linda what I had been through and that my surgery scars bothered me when doing core work because of scar tissue issues I had. We delved into my ailments, and she had a thought. Linda explained a little to me about what yin yoga is and that she had a class that I could join. She thought that yin might be more beneficial to my issues than only doing the regular yoga. I was on a mission for change in my life and yin sounded like the idea that might help me.

The next Wednesday night I went to Linda’s house for my first yin yoga class. When I arrived I was terribly nauseous, so badly that I almost did not go that night. Linda decided to do a stress practice that focused on the stomach meridians. By the time I left that yin class, my nausea had dropped by about 80%. It was absolutely incredible to leave feeling as I was, I hadn’t had that lack of nausea for about 4 months. I was excited, but nervous that this might be a temporary fix and not long term. I left open minded and with anticipation for the next class. Reading my yoga text and taking that class simultaneously with my yin class was another benefit of the last 5 months. It was interesting to see how I felt if I missed a yin class one week, but still had my regular yoga class.

After a month of doing yoga, especially the yin, my symptoms had improved so much that I was able to stop taking my pancreatic enzymes. Also, I started to do my own yin practice on a daily basis. Everyday, whenever I could fit it in morning or evening, I do a full hero [supta virasana] for 10 to 20 minutes, then child’s pose for 5 to 10 minutes, and the downward facing dog for 10 to 12 breaths. This daily practice has given me days, and now months, free of nausea and pain. Accepting the realization that reality is reality and it is always changing and out of my control along with watching my breath, which has brought my mindfulness to a better level, has truly been a life-changing process and I can’t wait to continue on this journey. [emphasis supplied.]

From my first yin classes where I could feel my insides unwinding, to now where I can still feel my meridians winding out, I am 100% positive that yin has benefited my health in ways that I would have never imagined. I love doing my yoga practices, but my daily yin practices, focus on breath work, and the realization of what reality is, has been the most beneficial milestone is my life thus far. I am always looking forward to my yoga time and what I learn from it, and encourage anyone with autoimmune disorders to give it a chance, because such a simple thing can be so life-changing.”

this is my real yoga

by L. Valdez Karl

“You are a life saver. Without you I would be a stressed out 20 year old bitching about everything. Now I live my life and I’m writing my own story and I have never felt better. I tell everyone about you and how you guide people to find not only happiness but themselves. I thank you for opening my eyes to that.”
[college student, 2009]

With all the yada yada about how old yoga really is (see discussion in comments), the name-branding of yoga and the Show Biz Yogi Lifestyle (TM of course), what is “real yoga”, Bikram’s desire to have yoga (uh, asana) competition in the Olympics, ad infinitum, it all makes me want to scream “STOP!”

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good discussion, but I have to ask: when is enough, enough? Buddha (basically) said not to take peoples’ words as gospel, that you must experience things through your own lens and judge for yourself.

I know what works for me and I’ve written about it on numerous occasions. Brenda made an excellent point when she asked “if you just boil it down to asana without any kind of inner reflection, then isn’t it just floor exercise?” I love her one word opinion about that.

But I will play devil’s advocate and say, so what? So what if someone does some stretches when they get out of bed and calls it yoga? I asked Tom Pilarzyk that question when I heard him speak on whether American yoga is in crisis.

He said that he would compare that to the idea of Christmas. He asked, what if a person said “so what if I only like lots of presents on Christmas?” Tom said, OK, if that’s all you want, but isn’t the idea of Christmas really about something more?

I believe that yoga must contain certain things in order for it to be called yoga. Notice that I did not say any type of spirituality must be a requirement; I don’t even say namaste at the end of my classes. I don’t care if you’ve never read a yoga book and think Bhagavad Gita is the name of the guy who fixed your computer.

As I’ve heard Desikachar say, if yoga does not contain X, then you’re just doing acrobatics. Nick Rosen, the “star” of the movie Enlighten Up said “yoga’s anything you want it to be and that’s very freeing…” Uh, OK…I’m going to swing from a chandelier in my chakra underwear and trademark it as “SwingYoga.” Yup…just call something “yoga” and that makes it “yoga.” Uh-huh. And if you steal this idea I’m going to sue your yoga butt.

Sometimes all this yada yada makes me want to go off and live in a cave. OK, not really, but it does make me question being a yoga teacher, especially when stuff like this happens. I tell myself, why bother, when people aren’t getting it. I know a few teachers who have just given up. Then I remember what I heard Seane Corn say in a workshop: that she’d rather teach to the two who get it than the 10 who don’t.

But then a student tells me what my college yogi told me. Or the hearts of the domestic violence survivors crack open when they know that maybe just for this moment they are loved unconditionally.

That is my real yoga, and frankly, I don’t care what you do. I used to care, but I don’t anymore. You do your “yoga” and I’ll do mine. But please…don’t insult me and my teachers and my teachers’ teachers going all the way back to Patanjali by calling your morning stretches or your posing, yoga.

Don’t insult the original yogis, the sramanas, those renouncers of the Hindu rituals who around the 8th Century BC to the 2nd century CE used their bodies and minds as laboratories for the direct experience of yoga and nondualism.

If something isn’t changing for you off the mat, then don’t call it yoga.

Instead of a Christmas analogy, I’ll use food. If you want to make a chocolate cake but leave out the chocolate, can you still call it a chocolate cake? Or is it just a poor imitation?

Just askin’.

and the beat goes on….

by L. Valdez Karl

I promised to write about the talk I went to about whether American yoga is in crisis, but I won’t. That ship has sailed. In the meantime the discussion continued over at elephant journal “Real Yoga Practiced Here” and at Brenda’s house with her post “Whatever happened to dignity?” where she said, “And yet even the yoga community seems full of practitioners keen on branding themselves and selling yoga shoes to “help spread the word”–as if the word wasn’t spreading just fine on its own without a lot of pictures of hot, young bodies doing arm balances.” Even Rainbeau Mars kept popping up to let us know that the “Rainbeau Mars Lifestyle” is really all about just spreading the word about yoga (and buying Adidas clothes) and if y’all don’t see that then y’all are just haters. Nikki asks whether we are practicing real yoga and Diane muses about yoga group think.

Our judgments (whether about yoga or anything else) are based on our experiences and assumptions. So for people who believe yoga is just another fitness class, then American yoga is not in crisis. If one sees yoga as a deeper spiritual (whatever that word means to you) or personal exploration, then one might think American yoga is in crisis if one sees the emphasis placed only on the physical.

AAAAARRRRRHHHHHHH

You do your yoga and I’ll do mine. My yoga contains asana+pranayama+meditation plus occasional chanting and mudras. That’s what I teach and if someone walks into my class and doesn’t like what I do, there are a gazillion yoga teachers out there, find someone else. Simple. And metta to you.

But putting your leg behind your neck or even both legs does not impress me. Children can do that. Show me how you live your life. Show me what you can give up on a 10 day retreat without complaint. I also don’t care how many translations of the Vedas or Upanishads or any other yogic text you’ve read or whether you can chant the Sutra-s backwards.

I have over 1000 hours of training and teaching experience; I’ve been told I have a “beautiful practice”; I have a closet full of yoga books some of which I’ve read more than once. But if I was still operating on automatic pilot, if I was still reacting to things inappropriately, flying off the handle (and I am NOT saying I do not get angry), or treating people badly, what good did all those yoga hours do for me? So is yoga an exercise or is it about transformation? Is it about the journey or the end result?

I returned to yoga in the mid-’90s for a purely physical reason just like many people come to yoga. I returned to yoga to help rehab my severely arthritic shoulder from arthroscopic surgery. But as soon as I started moving my body in that beginning yoga class, barely able to move my right shoulder even after 8 weeks of PT, that whole mind-body-prana connection kicked right in. That bhavana was like an IV. I was introduced to yoga via meditation over 30 years ago when I OMed with Allen Ginsberg, so that barely sprouted seed laid dormant for a very long time until it was watered at just the right time. Conditioned Genesis in Buddhist talk.

So don’t talk to me about Forrest Yoga or Jivamukti Yoga or Bikram Yoga or Anusara Yoga. I don’t care about names with capital letters. Yoga is yoga and why practicing “just yoga” isn’t good enough anymore is beyond me. I’ve heard Krishnamacharya’s son Desikachar say that yoga contains X, Y, and Z and if it doesn’t contain that, then you’re just doing acrobatics. As I’ve said more than a few times about this thing we call yoga in OM-merika, you can call a dog a cat all you want to, that still doesn’t make it a cat.

As Nikki asks in her blog post “Is my yoga practice making any inroad in how I function in life?” Or as one reader said in my post “I am my shadow self”, “if Yoga isn’t pushing you outside your comfort zone, it ain’t really Yoga.”

Why do you yoga? Not “do yoga” because yoga is about undoing, not doing. Yoga does us. I’ve always thought that the reason more people don’t yoga is because stepping into yoga takes courage and many (most?) are afraid to see what might come up.

The abused women I teach at the domestic violence shelter don’t care about Lululemon pants, an Adidas lifestyle, about chanting Sanskrit, about your favorite translation of the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, or whether I can stand on my head in the middle of the room. They care about changing their lives. They care about how focusing on the breath can calm the mind. They care about relieving their suffering, moment by moment. If someone with the idea that yoga is just another way of working out looked into the room and saw our yoga, they might be confused because we’re not in pretzel poses or trying to perfect chaturanga dandasana. We’re not sweating. We’re sitting. Breathing. Maybe facing a few those demons….mindfully.

“Can we do hatha yoga (or any other form of bodily training) with the same wisdom that guides vipassana practice?….

A specific example from my own practice and teaching: I do viniyoga, which emphasizes constant awareness of the conditioned movement of the body and breathing in all postures. This helps bring about a more vivid quality to the breath sensations, making breath awareness meditation more accessible. This is an asset for yogis engaged in ànàpàna-sati [mindfulness of breathing], especially for those with faulty breathing habits, which can incline the mind to distraction. If the postures were practiced with the same deliberate mindfulness used, for example, in walking meditation, such conscious breathing and movement would not only facilitate meditation practice-it would be meditation itself….

That’s just it. It’s not about chakras or kundalini rising, as valuable as this approach may be. It’s just that when I do yoga, I do vipassana.”
BODY PEOPLE, MIND PEOPLE, by Larry Rosenberg

You do your yoga, I’ll do mine.

"yogis" such as these

by L. Valdez Karl

“zydeco chacha” left this lovely comment on this post. I left it in the comments section so you could see that I did not make this up and so you could click the name to go to the blog she/he writes for:

“would that you could go quietly into the night, but that would be too much for you to manage, wouldn’t it? at least you’re GOING. one less chunk of bitchiness in the virtual yoga world; for that many of us are extremely grateful.”

This delightful person writes for the Sadhana Bliss Chicago blog. The other contributors are Nirvair Kaur, Gina, Dukh Niwaran Kaur, and Balprem Kaur, and you can see a photo of all five on their blog (I assume this a photo of the contributors but who knows?) The blog is apparently the “Teacher Training Sadhana Blog” of the Spirit Rising studio, a Kundalini yoga studio in Chicago. The irony is that a few years ago I was given the name Narayan Kaur by the 3HO Foundation in New Mexico.

Oh, those wacky Kundalini Kids! Instead of upsetting me, I thought the comment hilarious. First, can you imagine someone leaving their name that can so easily be traced AND a photo of themselves (assuming the blog photo is of the contributors)? Second, the mind reels at the psychology of the person who would call themselves a “yogi” and write such a comment on someone’s blog. Spirit Rising Yoga actually offers “yoga-based psychotherapy.”

But on further reflection, it’s really rather sad. Really makes you wonder about intention. It’s obvious that the comment was written to hurt. And why would someone who doesn’t know me and has never met me want to hurt me via leaving a nasty comment on a blog? What is inside the mind of that person to want to do that, what is their motivation? Just pure unadulterated nastiness? Just to feed their ego?

It begs the question, if you don’t like what I write or how I write, then why read this blog at all? I don’t go to your house and shit in your yard so why do you think you can shit in mine?

Irony sure as hell rules. I read this comment after I got home from doing my seva, my karma yoga, teaching yoga and meditation to the Hispanic women’s group at the domestic violence shelter. This yoga bitch has been doing that for 7+ years now. What’s that saying about no good deed goes unpunished?

I guess you just can’t please everyone.

I don’t know if zydeco chacha is a teacher, but think of a teacher sitting in front of a yoga class spouting peace and love and lightness and brightness, Sat Nam!, and then running home and leaving nastiness on a blog. A bit of a disconnect wouldn’t you say?

Hmmmmmm….sadhana is a “spiritual practice.” Apparently Z’s personal sadhana is leaving dirt on yoga blogs. I bet Yogi Bhajan wouldn’t think too highly of that practice. If he wasn’t cremated he’s probably spinning in his grave right now.

It makes me wonder whether Z has read the Yoga Sutra-s closely….you know, like those pesky yamas and niyamas. Tsk, tsk….I think someone has to stay late after yoga school and write 1000 times on the blackboard “I will not leave nasty comments on yoga blogs….”

Funny that theirs is a teacher training blog. It’s nice to know that the Spirit Rising studio is churning out such enlightened communicators. Their Level 2 teacher training is entitled “Conscious Communication – Inspired by the teachings of Yogi Bhajan.” Ya think maybe ol’ Zydeco flunked that one? Or maybe it was unconscious communication.

Zydeco honey, the Sama never goes quietly, anywhere. In fact, you’ve inspired me to hang around just to annoy you. Kisses, sweetie.

Dear readers, feel free to leave your comments here or there. There was a website listed on the profile of Dukh Niwaran Kaur, a yoga teacher and massage therapist in Chicago. I emailed her with a link to this post. I will let you know if she responds about her fellow blog contributor’s actions.

Sri Ramaswami on P. Jois and birth and death

by L. Valdez Karl


(AUM written in Tamil)

I am an ongoing student of Srivatsa Ramaswami and this is what Ramaswamiji had to say in an email about the passing of Pattabhi Jois and birth and death.

Sri Ramaswami was Krishnamacharya’s longest standing student outside of Krishnamacharya’s family. He studied with Krishnamacharya for some 30 years, longer than P. Jois, Iyengar, and Desikachar.

SRI PATTABHI JOIS

Three of the disciples of my Guru, Sri Pattabhi Jois, Sri B K S Iyengar and Sri T K V Desikachar, propagated Yoga in the modern times and their influences have been phenomenal. The oldest of them, Sri Pattabhi Jois, taught the unique adaptation of my Acharya’s asana teaching, christened Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga. It has caught the imagination of hundreds of thousands of Yogis all over the world and is practiced with tremendous enthusiasm. His passing away at the ripe old age of 94 leaves a void in the Yoga World. A tremendous teacher, Guruji was dearly loved and highly respected in the Yoga world. I had not met him but am aware that he was an ideal student of my Guru. The debt to a father is repaid by the offspring by exemplary conduct. “What good karmas the father should have done to get such a wonderful offspring”, people should say of the son/daughter. Likewise it is said that a student should bring out the glory of the teacher by his teachings — “Acharyam praksayeth.” People should wonder, “Who was his teacher?”

Sri Jois by his relentless and pioneering work on Yoga brought name, fame and respect to the legacy of his teacher Sri Krishnamacharya.

Om Shanti.

BETWEEN DEATH AND BIRTH

All the orthodox philosophies which accept the authority of the Vedas subscribe to the Theory of Karma, even as they have significant differences in the interpretation of the Vedas.

According to the Vedas, the individual soul surrounded by the vasanas or impressions of the past lives and also the remainder of the accumulated subtle karma bundle, gets attached to the subtle body of the individual. The subtle body itself, according to Sankhyas, is made of 18 aspects, the three internal organs of the chitta, viz., mind, ego and intellect, the ten indriyas and five tanmatras. When a person dies, the non-changing pure consciousness — the soul or self also known as purusha or jiva along with the subtle body undergoes the first transformation when it goes through ‘fire’, as the physical body is consigned to the fire after death. Then the subtle body goes up the sky space and approaches the heaven, but due to the avidya and the power of the accumulated karmas, stagnates and then is absorbed by the rain clouds, which is the second transformation due to the ‘fire’ of water. The subtle body then descends to earth with the drops of rain and is absorbed by a plant which is the third transformation through fire of earth. Then when the plant or the plant product is eaten by a being, it is absorbed and becomes the generative fluid of that person. This is the fourth transformation through the fire of the being, or gastric fire. Then when it is transferred to the female being, it undergoes another transformation through fire of the womb and becomes an embryo. Then according to Samkhyas the embryo has the subtle body and the genes/genetic body. The subtle body which went through five changes now gets the second body or the body given by the parents (mata pitruja sarira). This embryo then gets nourishment through the mother and develops another body known as bhuta sarira (the physical body) or a body made of the five elements — earth, water, fire, air, and space. And then one is born again. These five fire transformations is in the panchagni vidya of the Upanishads, and the Samkhyas talk about the subtle body, the genetic body, and the physical body to complete the story of the journey from death to birth. But those yogis who have attained Kaivalya or Moksha or Nirvana have their souls liberated and are able to shed the subtle body when they attain liberation and are able to break this cycle of samsara or transmigration. One who is able to clearly understand the process of transmigration through meditation and understanding of the panchagni vidya briefly narrated above are able to attain liberation (for better understanding, read the panchagni vidya from Chandogya Upanishad.) Such a person is able to see the distinction between the changing body going through all the transformation between birth and death and then between death and birth and the non-changing pure consciousness or the Self. Such a person is able to identify with the non-changing consciousness as ‘oneself’, the immortal self and becomes immortal. The rest, considering themselves to be mortal go through the cycle of samsara repeatedly and endlessly say the Upanishads.

I am my shadow self

by L. Valdez Karl

Scott from Scott’s Thott’s posted this Seane Corn video and I wondered what your thoughts were about it.

A long time ago I did a workshop with Corn where she said almost exactly the same thing. When she mentioned the junkies and the whores I looked around the room and saw more than a few eyebrows go up and eyes go down. While the asana practice was good, I loved what she had to say even more.

Corn says that the teachers she is most attracted to are the most human, the realists who are honest about their history and path. In my last workshop with Sarah Powers she said the same thing: that her favorite teachers are the ones whose “humaness” shines through. I agree.

Last weekend I became 55, a fit, fabulous, “woman of a certain age.” While I have my aches and pains I don’t allow my body or my thoughts to define me — I am not this body, I am not my thoughts. And on my birthday I realized: I should be dead. There was a time when I and others thought I would not live to see 21. I tried to kill myself when I was 16. Ask me if I care who knows that.

And now I’m planning my 4th trip to India. I’ve come a long way, baby.

I teach at a domestic violence shelter and the ladies told me that they appreciate me so much more because I’ve been where they are now, that I am not a “white suburban do-gooder” (their words) trying to tell them how to be.

I question how some show biz yogis can teach me because I wonder if they’ve been where I’ve been — abuse, rape, addiction, and domestic violence. I usually do not trust the om namah shivaya types with the ethereal smiles and the wispy, breathy voices. I am a survivor, so what can they teach me? I’d rather get down and dirty.

I loved Scott’s comment:

“A friend and I joke about the “Om Shanti” and “Namaste” crowd. These people who say Yoga is all about love and light, peace and happiness are deluding themselves. It’s so pretentious – just say hello, how are you, have a good day… whatever. I would no more say Namaste to someone (outside north India) than I would say bonjour or auf wiedersehen.

If Yoga isn’t pushing you outside your comfort zone, it ain’t really Yoga. Leave the frills off for me, mama, and gimme an extra dose of darkness.”

“If Yoga isn’t pushing you outside your comfort zone, it ain’t really Yoga.”

Why do you yoga? Not “do yoga” because yoga is about undoing, not doing. Yoga does us. I’ve always thought that the reason more people don’t yoga is because stepping into yoga takes courage and many of us (most?) are afraid to see what might come up, we’re afraid of our shadow selves. It’s so much easier to push that shit down and resist our truths.

Roll around with your demons and become uncomfortable until it hurts. Set yourself on fire because that fire will either kill you or transform you.


yoga wisdom from a rabbit

by L. Valdez Karl

“What is Real?,” asked the rabbit one day. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you’re made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you…It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. Generally by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
—The Velveteen Rabbit

I believe that yoga helps you become real (real-er? more real?) It strips away your layers like the multiple skins of an onion, down to your essence. As the Skin Horse said, Real is a thing that happens to you, you become. Sometimes It sneaks up on you. You can’t think your way into being, you can only be. You can’t think your way to freedom, you can only be free.

I wrote here about a new spaciousness I have felt recently and it really hits me now and again. This just being is a lightness of being that is freedom, at least for me. The physical sensation of it is floating. Sometimes there are no words for these Things that happen on this Path, but that is my felt sense of it.

I think about people or things that I was very attached to six months ago or even one month ago and those attachments are gone….POOF!…like they never existed. Those attachments literally brought me to my knees, you have no idea. Of course “they” still exist but it is…different. Transcended. Free.

At my age I’m worn around the edges and yet somehow feel more alive than ever (you hear that Yoga Journal, with your ageist yoga advertising?), even with my aching back (the price of being uber-flexible among other things.) But I am not this Body.

I’ve been too many years on this earth to care what people think about me anymore. I’m not responsible for anyone’s happiness, only my own. I don’t tell my students what they want to hear, I tell them what I think they need to hear and what they choose to do is up to them. I am merely a yoga facilitator, I am nobody’s guru — “your breath will change your life”; “mindfulness begins now, not tomorrow”; “detach from the outcome and be free.” You can give a person the tools and show them how to use them, but eventually they have to build their own house.

In 7 years of teaching I’ve had students quit after one class and I have students who’ve been with me since Day One and I’m grateful for them all. I’ve heard it said that as teachers we get the students that we deserve. Maybe so. One day not too long ago a (former) private student told me that she did not like the way I worded things, that I was too harsh. That night another student told me that she does not have the words to tell me how much she looks forward to coming to my class every week. Same day, same teacher, same words. My voice off the mat is my voice on the mat.

“….once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

I am not ugly. I am Real.

“I got lucky
I got everything I wanted
I got happy
There wasn’t nothing else to do
And I’d be crazy
Not to wonder if I’m worthy
of the part I play
In this dream that’s coming true.”
–“Pilgrim’s Progress”, Kris Kristofferson

yoga teachers are the new waiters

by L. Valdez Karl

They say that every restaurant server in Los Angeles is an actor or actress waiting for their big break. So are yoga teachers the new wait staff?

This post over at YogaDork makes one think:

“…many aspiring teachers who hear the call will follow the dream no matter what it takes (meaning, lots of odd jobs and stretching the dollar). For some it’s not worth the stress. Caleb Asch teaches 6 classes a week, but it’s not enough to pay the bills. “The stress of not having enough to live on is a killer,” he said.

JG wrote this comment: “This quote – “The stress of not having enough to live on is a killer” – really hit home for me. I’ve been teaching full time for over five years and I’ve never made a fortune, but I always made the bills. This year has been the exception. With 30+ “one-month-intensive” YTTs in my city churning out teachers and the studios offering increasingly low pay to teachers (after all, why pay when there are people willing to teach for free?), I’m beginning to question my decision to teach, as much as I love it. 2009 may be the year I throw in the towel.”

I’ve written more than a few posts about the economics of yoga teaching and about the plethora of yoga teacher trainings in the Chicago area. The fact of the matter is that there are too many yoga teachers and not enough students, yet studios keep cranking out newbie teachers because teacher training programs pay the bills. A studio doesn’t make money teaching group classes and a yoga teacher certainly doesn’t, not when a studio owner pays a teacher anywhere from $4-$7 per student. I don’t know anyone in the real world who is willing to work 90 minutes to make $4. Yet yoga teachers are expected to and to accept it with a smile and no complaints. And if you don’t like it then you can get out because there are 10 more newly minted yoga teachers waiting to take your place, some who are more than willing to teach yoga for free just for the thrill, uh, experience. This is real world yoga stuff that Yoga Journal does not write about.

Yup, yoga teaching sure has become a funny business in this here Om-mera-ka. In fact, I had a moment last week when the thought popped into my head, “why am I doing this?” The longer I teach, the more yoga nutbars float to the surface. As a yoga teacher friend told me about the following email, “the longer we all hang around this USA, the weirder this yoga tribe is gonna get.”

I received an email with the subject line “private yoga instruction.” I receive more than a few emails like that because I have a website, but it made me suspicious because this was the entire email:

“Hello!

How much do you charge for private sessions? How long are they usually?

Thanks!”

It made me suspicious because when most people ask about private instruction they tell me where they are, what injuries or conditions they have, how they found me, what they are looking for, among other things. Their emails are not two sentences. What also made me suspicious was that it came from a [first and last name]yoga.com. I don’t want to give the name because I don’t want to give this woman any type of publicity.

I googled her name and found a very professional looking website that was, in my opinion, too slick and a bit over the top, a website that buried you with information. The young woman bills herself as “Teacher * Scholar * Consultant * Yoga * Transformation * Sustainability.”

Uh, me too.

I responded: “Why do you want to know that when you are a yoga teacher yourself and not someone in my local area looking for private yoga instruction?”

Ms. Yoga Expert immediately emailed a one sentence reply:

“I am looking to hire Yoga teachers, and gauging further inquiries and
potential offers according to responses to the questions I asked you.”

When I read that sentence I thought “yogabot.” Now is it just me or is this woman disingenuous? Why wasn’t she up front about her real intentions in the first email? Why wasn’t her subject line “yoga teachers wanted” instead of “private yoga instruction”? As far as I’m concerned, she lied and she’s dishonest. As a “scholar”, shouldn’t she know how to word an email so as not to make the person receiving the email suspicious? But what do I know? I only graduated summa cum laude so I don’t know if that makes me a scholar.

Something about the tone of her emails and even her very professional looking website made my skin crawl. I really wanted to email her back and tell her that and some other things, but of course, that would not be very yogic of me.

I don’t belong here. I need to find my own yoga tribe.