one world?

by L. Valdez Karl

This is a message for people like Pat Robertson and Mike Huckabee, a Southern Baptist minister, who in 1992 said he would segregate people with AIDS. The fact that Mike Huckabee is gaining in the presidential polls frightens me. The fact that I have heard people say that would not vote for Barack Obama because they believe he is Muslim frightens me.

“Your religion is not the garb you wear outwardly, but the garment of light you weave around your heart. Discover who you are, behind those outer trappings, and you will discover who Jesus was, and Buddha, and Krishna. For the masters come to earth for the purpose of holding up to every man a reflection of his deeper, eternal Self.” Paramahansa Yogananda (Hindu)

When did we become so lost?

feel good friday

by L. Valdez Karl

You can read a larger version here. And thanks to the Y Dawg for posting it so I can liberate it!

hey, you can’t make this stuff up!

happy friday, y’all…enjoy…..

peace

yoga from hell

by L. Valdez Karl

more from the “yoga is evil” battle front thanks to a link on souljerky…

Vicars are Right to be Afraid of Sweaty and Sensual Yoga

“Children’s yoga classes have been banned from two church halls in Somerset, by vicars who regard the practice as “un-Christian”. ‘Yoga impinges on the spiritual life of people in a way which we as Christians don’t believe is the same as our ethos,’ said the Rev Simon Farrar.

I’m a yoga devotee, but I can understand Mr Farrar’s position. If he wants the kiddies of Somerset to grow into passive, faithful churchgoers, he’s right to keep them away from the ancient Hindu art of self-realisation….

…In Hindu mythology, yoga was developed by Shiva, the maverick, dreadlocked god of destruction and regeneration. He renounced the world and sat atop mount Kailash, manipulating his body in 8,400,000 postures, to reveal the basic animal instincts and desires that motivate us. Shiva was an outsider who refused to fit into mainstream society, cultivating his innate individuality instead, and yoga became the practice of rebels and nonconformists throughout Indian history.”

I love the comment about the early yogis being the nonconformists of Hindu society because if you read my post about my California training, Stephen Cope emphasized that the renouncers of the Hindu rituals, the sramanas, starting from the 8th Century BC to the 2nd century CE, used their own bodies and minds as laboratories for the direct experience of yoga and for the research on the nondualism of body and mind.

The actions of the sramanas were similar to that of Martin Luther when he told the Catholic Church, in essence, “I don’t need a priest to be the intermediary between me and the Divine.” In the same way the sramanas told the Brahmin priests “we don’t need your fire rituals and sacrifices to know the Divine.” Iconoclasts and rebels, I love it. By the way, I’m a very lapsed Lutheran. and always the rebel.

The author of the Guardian article finally asks, “Who knows what dangerous urges the Rev Farrar has repressed with his Anglican dogma, which might gush forth with a mere sun-salutation? Perhaps it’s not yoga that scares him, but what it might release within himself.”

What indeed makes someone so fearful of the unknown and the unfamiliar, whether it is within us or out there? Once I gave a cloth painting of Durga to the owner of the yoga studio where I used to teach because she said she wanted something that expressed “strong feminine energy.” She returned it to me within a week because she said that two students complained about it — two out of over 100 students that attended the studio every week. They told the owner they were “Christian” and the painting of Ma Durga made them “uncomfortable” because it was “Hindu.” sigh…it’s always the few….

No one tied them up, taped their eyes open, and made them stare at Durga the same way Malcolm McDowell was forced to watch graphic violence in A Clockwork Orange. I have never been to a yoga studio where anyone was forced to chant those evil MAN-tras to Vishnu and Krishna, those MAN-tras that strike fear in the heart of Pat Robertson. I wouldn’t go to a studio where anyone forced me to do anything. Apologies to any kundalini yogis out there, but I never went back to a kundalini yoga class because I was told I HAD to wear a white scarf. uh….no thanks.

I have my own opinion about what the owner should have done, but the fact that these women were so fearful of something that was not in their realm of experience gives me pause. Hmmmmm…how would it go over if I walked into a church (my own choice, forced by no one) and told the minister or priest that as a Buddhist, looking at Jesus on the cross bugs me and I want it taken down. I would probably be politely told, “get over it. this is a church. this is what we do.”

Be afraid. be very afraid. yoga might make you think.

pray for Pat Robertson

by L. Valdez Karl

you heard it here first from this Buddhist: let’s all pray for Pat Robertson because he needs to get help for his own brand of evil and narrow-mindedness. Pat needs an intervention. I humbly request the help of Shiva, Ma Kali, Buddha, and Tara and all the boddhisattvas to lead this man from his delusions and into the Light.

uh…do you think that’s enough help?

Pat Robertson Not Down With Yoga

According to Robertson, “stretching before exercise” is great, but those evil yogis are going to make you chant mantras to Vishnu and Krishna…and you won’t even know you’re doing it!

Yeah, that Krishna dude, what the hell was HE smoking?….

“Be fearless and pure; never waver in your determination or your dedication to the spiritual life. Give freely. Be self-controlled, sincere, truthful, loving, and full of the desire to serve…Learn to be detached and to take joy in renunciation. Do not get angry or harm any living creature, but be compassionate and gentle; show good will to all. Cultivate vigor, patience, will, purity; avoid malice and pride. Then, you will achieve your destiny.” (Krishna, Bhagavad-gita)

Does the thought of Jesus being a self-realized yogi frighten you, Pat? Hmmmmm…Jesus as a bhakti yogi or a karma yogi? ……naaaah….that’s too far out to believe…kind of like that notion of a virgin birth, I guess.

Beware…keep doing yoga and before you know it you’re worshiping a MONKEY GOD!

and then…before your final descent into hellfire and brimstone for all eternity… when you’ve become totally brainwashed by an evil mantra-chanting yoga teacher like me…hey, but I’m only 37% EVIL….

This site is certified 37% EVIL by the Gematriculator

…you’ll smear your body with ashes, wear your hair in dreads, and start smokin’ a few chillems everyday! OM NAMAH SHIVAYA! You’re gonna need those chillems where you’re going, sucker!

Robertson says that all that other stuff about getting into a higher consciousness, merging your spirit with an ever-present God, and that God is everywhere is pantheism and that’s where “YOGA GETS REALLY SPOOKY”!

Yoga is spooky? You know what I think is spooky, Pat? People like you who promote numb groupthink and abhor the Feminine Divine, jai ma! People like you who think we need protection from vile pagans like Buddhists and Muslims. People like you who can only get your message across by pandering to guilt and fear.

hmmmm….pantheism…now what exactly is the definition of pantheism?
(taken from Merriam-Webster):
1. a doctrine that equates God with the forces and laws of the universe.
2. the worship of all gods of different creeds, cults, or peoples indifferently; also, toleration of worship of all gods.

what?!? “toleration”? oh my heavens, toleration is exceedingly evil! we really can’t have anything like that because that might mean that we’re really not better than anyone else.

God is everywhere? you mean He’s not an old white dude with a long white beard somewhere up in the sky behind the clouds? I’m crushed.

Think I’ll follow the Dalai Lama’s advice and send Pat Robertson lots of metta, lots of loving-kindness. HHDL says that true compassion is having compassion even for your enemies, even for people who hate you.

I am sure Pat Robertson would tell me that I am going to Hell unless I accept Jesus Christ — just like what the flyers said that were being handed out by the Christians (friends of yours, Pat?) who demonstrated against the Dalai Lama when I saw him this year. According to them, HHDL is going to hell unless he accepts Jesus Christ. I also don’t know right from wrong according to them because Buddhists never talk about an all-powerful God. Yup, that’s a bee line straight to hell if ever I saw one.

Fortunately, Pat, I’m a lot smarter than you — because I don’t believe that everyone who calls themselves Christian are as close-minded and hateful as you.

That’s OK, Pat. Buddha loves ya despite your disgusting ignorance. and you know something? Despite all your holy-rolling, there’s no guarantee you have that one-way ticket to Heaven because karma is karma. You believe in karma, right, Pat? You might use different words for it: the Bible says you reap what you sow. You just might come back as a naked Shiva baba.

Maybe I’ll see you in a Buddhist Hell Realm. I’ll be the one doing yoga.

musical monday

by L. Valdez Karl

My regular readers may have noticed that I haven’t written much lately about yoga, Buddhism, Tibet, or social action, the subjects that are near and dear to my heart. For whatever reason as 2007 draws to a close, I find myself pre-occupied with other things: my impending trip to India, a medical procedure I will have next week, and teaching at a new yoga studio. but the drama never ends at the studio where I used to teach.

Another teacher quit last week for the same reason I left — the alcoholic dysfunction of the owner. It so happens that the teacher who quit was the only teacher who supported me when I had my confrontation with the owner in September. it had come to her attention that the owner yet again had taught her class in, shall we say, a less than functional state, and my friend decided, enough is enough, that she could not continue teaching at a studio that is based on lies and delusions and the denial and complicity of the other teachers.

as the saying goes, all things happen for a reason. I am enjoying teaching at the new yoga studio. I live in a suburban area about 45 miles outside of Chicago — think of the stereotypes about “white bread suburbia” and that pretty much sums up where I live. But all I have to do is drive 15 minutes and I’m in the middle of corn and soybean fields, and in another 20 minutes the landscape is dotted with farms and stables and farm tractor companies. I prefer that environment much more but we live where we do so The Husband can have a quasi-sane drive to his office.

The location of the new yoga studio can be called rural small town which happens to be right next door to a small university town. So the vibe and the mindsets of the students are immediately different. For one, they are appreciative of whatever style of yoga is taught at the studio, it’s yoga for the sake of yoga. There is no yoga snobbery. There is no sense of entitlement as the students had in white bread suburbia where Tyler and Tiffany are bought a brand new Hummer for their 16th birthdays. The students don’t come in the latest yoga clothes with the hand-painted chakras, endorsed by Seane Corn, don’t cha know — many come in sweat pants and baggy T-shirts.

So I am grateful to teach in this environment and am humbled by the response to my teaching. I did a second yin yoga workshop yesterday that had over 20 students and because the first two workshops were so popular, the owner asked me to do another one in two weeks. Twelve students signed up for it immediately after yesterday’s workshop.

Maybe humbled is too mild a word — blown away would be more accurate. One of my students who studied with me at the other studio lives in this town and has just gotten a job with the local paper as a free-lance writer on fitness. She gets paid $20 an article — I told you it was small town — but she is happy for it because as she says, it pays for a yoga class. She wrote a story about my first workshop that was entitled “Local Yoga Enthusiasts Thrilled as Popular Instructor Comes to Town.” She gave me a copy of the article yesterday and I got all choked up. really. wow. I felt like Shiva Rea. But you’ll never see a picture of me with my hair blowing in the wind.

Yup, all things happen for a reason.

arf-arf! recommended by da’ Dawg…

by L. Valdez Karl

YogaDawg that is!

woo-hoo, gettin’ down with the Dawg! I received an email from the Dawg himself telling me that he picked this blog as a “YogaDawg recommended blog”…

I first wrote about YogaDawg back in January and again in October when he posted his video bio. Dawg’s video would make Bikram fall off his yoga throne with laughter.

I check in every so often to see what snide and sarcastic bits of yoga humor he has come up with. My favorite parts are still the sections on Yoga Teachers and Yoga Students — read through the descriptions and you’ll see someone you know or maybe yourself. Uh…and no, I’m not any of them. really.

Dawg and I are probably going to end up in a Buddhist Hell Realm for wise-ass yogis.

and yes…I’m still sick of seeing Shiva Rea’s hair blowing in the wind.

Long live YogaDawg!

i knew that! — part 2

by L. Valdez Karl
Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow.
You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don’t try to think away your troubles.
Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

hey, better than “this is your brain on drugs.” you have to be a certain age to remember that TV commercial…

You Would Be a Pet Cat

Independent and aloof, you don’t like to be dependent on anyone.
And as for other people, you can take them or leave them. You often don’t care.
You live your life by your own rules. And you have deep motivations that no one truly understands.

Why you would make a great pet: You’re not needy or greedy… unlike other four legged friends.

Why you would make a bad pet: You’re not exactly running down to greet people at the door

What you would love about being a cat: Agility and freedom

What you would hate about being a cat: Being treated like a dog by clueless humans

that is SUCH a no-brainer!

thanks given

by L. Valdez Karl

to….

Suddha Weixler. . .for showing me what it means to be a true yogi

Srivatsa Ramaswami. . .for showing me what pure yoga is and inspiring me to go to India

Paul Grilley. . .for showing me that yoga truly is “all in the bones”

Sarah Powers. . .for confirming for me what I have always intuited

My students. . .for their support along this Path

Buddha. . .for the Dharma and for showing me the way out of suffering

OM MANI PEDME HUM

gratitude

by L. Valdez Karl

The attitude of gratitude has been resonating with me lately and not just because Thanksgiving is tomorrow.

In three weeks — exactly two weeks before I leave for India — I am scheduled for a medical procedure because of certain pains I’ve been having for the last few months. I am concerned but I’m also not worried about it. I believe that our mindset is a big determiner in the quality of our lives, indeed, in our physical health, so I am thinking positive. Besides…I already made the decision a long time ago that I will not die an unlived life.

I also received an email this morning from a friend that who told me that a woman she knows, a woman with children in college and a child in 8th grade, was killed, sitting in her car in front of her house. A teenager sideswiped her as she sat in front of her house. My friend said she was glad — grateful if you will — that the woman’s children were all home for the holiday, that they were all together when this happened.

Think about that. Think about how the Universe always drop kicks us into the present moment. It always serves us a big steaming pile of “HELLO! I’M HERE AND YOU’D BETTER PAY ATTENTION!”, i.e., pay attention to how we live our lives. But do we really pay attention? Do we really take the Universe’s lessons to heart? Or do we have the attention spans of flies?

Do we take time to consider whether we are truly living our lives with authentic presence? Not just being “in the present moment” — that has almost become a cliche nowadays — but living with bare, naked, authentic awareness of our reality. Not being ignorant of it, as Buddha taught. Not running from it, not wishing it was something that it is not, not holding on with dear life to things that are by their nature impermanent, but standing squarely and solidly and facing the good and the bad and the tragic with equanimity. And having gratitude for all of it.

I found this link about gratitude and I love what it has to say. There’s a little story about the violinist Itzhak Perlman…

“…”You know,” he said, “sometimes it is the artist’s task to find out how much beautiful music you can still make with what you have left.”

We have to wonder, was he speaking of his violin strings or his crippled body? And is it true only for artists? We are all lacking something, and so we are all challenged to answer the question: Do we have the attitude of making something of beauty out of what we do have, incomplete as it may be?

The Hebrew term for gratitude is hikarat hatov, which means, literally, “recognizing the good.” Practicing gratitude means recognizing the good that is already yours.

If you’ve lost your job, but you still have your family and health, you have something to be grateful for.

If you can’t move around except in a wheelchair but your mind is as sharp as ever, you have something to be grateful for.

If you’ve broken a string on your violin, and you still have three more, you have something to be grateful for.

When you open up to the trait of gratitude, you see clearly and accurately how much good there is in your life. Gratitude affirms. Those things you are lacking are still there, and in reaching for gratitude no one is saying you ought to put on rose-colored glasses to obscure those shortcomings. But most of us tend to focus so heavily on the deficiencies in our lives that we barely perceive the good that counterbalances them….”

Why wait until tomorrow to give thanks? A simple way to practice gratitude is making giving thanks part of your everyday life. I got into that habit when I was at my retreat in California, taking a few minutes before each meal to give thanks and to dedicate the merits of the meal to all homeless and hungry people all over the world.

Drink a glass of gratitude with that turkey — or tofu turkey! — tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving!

peace
shanti
salaam aleikum
so shall it be

i knew that!

by L. Valdez Karl

love the movie, and I know how to drive a motorcycle, but don’t want to end up like they did…

hmmmm….must be because I read the Encyclopedia Britannica as a child. really.